we, all three of us, got the appoval from ALL our teachers to go home for a study leave! everybody, CELEBRATE! but thanks to my big blabbermouth, i think word will spread about this, and i hope nobody else follows suit. i dont know why i told some of the people i told (there were 2) but i could bash my head against the wall for doin it. either ways, i'm still glad i'm going home, for 2 weeks plus! AAAA!!!!! all is right with the world! i'm so in love with the teachers now i was thinking of getting them a farewell gift, as a sort of thank you for putting up with my nonsense for the past 2 years i was here, heehee :P i already started packing. i miss my family, and my dogs..i didnt get to see my aunty at all last time i was back. i miss him too, a lot.

last night we had a great night of gossip-trading and we found out SOMEONE'S A PERVERT! *gasp*

my heart is starting to hurt. like physically. it happens when something's bugging me and i have no way of voicing myself about it, hence this blog exists..perhaps to ease my ailments.

its about the rape phenomenon in the country. it appals me how people with power and influence (read:chauvanistic politicians) can act as though its a small thing that happens in this country and "they (the victims) should just sit back and enjoy it" or "invited it  because of the way they're dressing". STOP PUTTING THE BLAME ON US. i dont know the explanations for why rape happens, but its a heinous, despicable thing. its not helping that every single day there'll be at least one incident of rape happening somewhere in the country, or of a rape trial being carried out.maybe its partly the media's fault in regards to the insensitivity of the public, cause what is people's reaction now? its practically an everyday commonplace thing that women's aid and NGO's are speaking out against, but their efforts are continuously hampered by male, chauvanistic pigs who have the influence to speak out against this but choose not to and instead display themselves publically as people who condone and allow this act. yes, i am very passionate about this because what if it happened to someone i cared about? what if it happens to me? or my sister? or my cousin? my friends? what then? how barbaric and uncivilised are we? the country's going to the dogs, bloody fuck. and even dogs might run the country better.

i do admit there are girls who go after guys and have sex with them and later on claim they were raped. but that is a different matter entirely. my point is about the people who actually get raped.

and incest? dont even get me started on that.

there is something seriously wrong with us if we read the papers, see the cases where there are people getting raped and think "Ala...biasa je..." ("that's normal") . maybe the newspaper shouldnt put these rape cases in the news so much. it sounds so simple doesnt it? but if you think that the media is trying to highlight this phenomenon, i dont think it's working. for one, the language in the reporting does not condemn the act. it reports it no differently from "there were floods in KL yesterday". i, as the reader, am not moved to action. rather, as female in this damn country, i feel "OMG, i dont dare to (insert activity here) ". i cant speak on behalf of males, but what i'm trying to say here is that, if highlighting something in the media makes no impact on people's perception of what it is that is supposed to be pinpointed, then there's no point in mentioning it at all. it may create the impression that there is nothing to report in the first place. BUT what about the people who read these things with a sort of voyeuristic complacency? (picked up that term from lit)

well, that's more or less what i have to say. heartache eased now.

by the way, there was a nice article about the so-called public indecency uproar written by dina zaman on malaysiakini.com (there's a link from my blog) so if  you have free time do have a glance. its funny, but it gets the point across.

its friday, we're watching a movie later. i'm looking forward to that. and my friend is getting her hair cut, i'm so excited for her! i bet she'll look so HOT after that. i love haircuts and getting my hair done, even though mine is pretty short right now. i used to have long hair, and its so interesting and fun to experiment! so if you havent done anything exciting with your hair, maybe you should take the plunge. who knows? you might look better, or feel better. if not, it'll grow back :)

there's something else on my mind. how do you tell a friend you dont agree with someone she's pursuing? the reasons are numerous and i dont want to write them here cause she might read them and then i have to tell her. in the end i know i have to tell her, and the bottom line about why i dont agree with who she's seriously pursuing is because i care for her, and i worry about her. i know she doesnt approve of who i'm interested in and probably thinks i'm some sort of desperate, social loser for even considering him, and thinks that i'm only doing this cause there werent any other guys. well, there were. and i didnt like them. i didnt like how they talked to me, how uncomfortable i was with them, i didnt like how they started touching me, how they LOOK at me, especially my chest (hello? im up here ok..) so i cut them off early, making them not worth a mention. maybe i really like this guy now? maybe i see something in him? something different? i'm hurt la..i have a theory about her, but i dont want to risk offending her by putting it here. and i had this theory WAAAY before she told me how she felt about me liking this current guy. its not some reflex-hate thing, its just what i see. when the time comes, i'll tell her myself. i'd rather have her find out that way.

wow, this is a long entry.

so happy weekend, wherever you are. my trials are next week. i hope and pray that i do well. soc and lit, A la, please. and maths? total score an A please. o gods of exams and studies, have mercy on me and show me favour.

i'm really stressed now. i cant sleep well, i have ulcers, my heart hurts (i need to get that checked) and my knee pain comes and goes...bring on the super-cool, ultra-slick walking stick and i'll whack the people who piss me off. maybe then some of my heartache will ease.

kudos!