so its the IRP programme thats been carried out in this college (thats Intensive Revision Programme to you) and i think its quite pointless. no offense to mr matt cause i personally look up and respect him, and i dont say this a lot about people cause i'm more happy to criticise than praise.

i'm really worried about the upcoming exams, that are only ONE MONTH away. i cant blow it this time, and i hope i can cram in time for this. what i fear the most is that i snap right before the exam, which is why i want to go home before the papers begin. i dont see the point in studying and studying right up till the second you're supposed to enter the exam hall. i feel its better to take a breather before taking the plunge.

 i told W what had been swimming around in my head, and i dont know if he was surprised or shocked when i told him i think i love him. but i just kept on talking anyways cause i know if i had stopped i never would begin again. so that was that. and i told him all the other stuff thats been holding me back, and why it is, and i think he understands. God, i hope so.

this weekend i might be going to kl with my friend, but that is still not definite, cause first, there's the money issue. as usual i'm broke, but i'm going to the magic money machine to withdraw today. then i will be very tired coming back here, and i really need to revise intensively. it is a day trip, so i know i will be exhausted when i get back. then there's the issue of whether i want to see her or not. (and thats the main issue, seeing as how i put that as the last excuse..i mean reason)

besides that i think i'm getting fat. (okay, if it was in the right places i dont mind, and usually i dont really care or am aware if i put on weight or lose it, people seem to tell me when i do.) its the fact that i have so many pretty clothes that i dont want to shove them aside cos i got fat..i need a haircut, and something to even out the uneven skintone...ah, the vanity of a girl. what can i say?

let me just state that its such a luxury to TYPE out words rather than have to write pages and pages worth of this crap..sociology paper is 3 hours, i'm expecting to write more than four full sheets per unit (large handwriting, wide margin, etc) and i have to answer 3 units, one question from each unit, each question having 2 parts. part a usually takes up 1 - 2 full sheets, part b 3 - 4 full sheets. exams is not about knowledge is it? its about endurance.

 i'm not having lunch. i'm seriously tired of the food here. i want pizza. and my mum's spaghetti. and my mum's pizza. and mu aunty's cooking. and some...oh GOd, the list goes on. i bought a coinbox for my cousin-brother. its cute. and its in the shape of a dog. i miss my dogs.

allison p. amin
(that was meant to be my official "writer" name but seeing as how i'm going to be a teacher for 5 years...)