life goes on
i'm actually not in a very uplifted mood cause i realised i'm too oblivious for my own good. WHY? hmmm...
- why didnt i tell him face to fae when i had the chance?
--> of course i can defend myself and say that i was spending so much time with him that i got so caught up in that, that i didnt have time to step back and clear things up with my own head. i think its a valid excuse, but to some extent, its not. whatever happened to the "Sieze the day!" attitude, al?? - have i been taking him for granted?
--> think about it: he's pouring out his heart, and he tells me himself, that if it was a fling he was looking for, he would have told me himself. and he's telling me all these things, and i dont know what to reply. in fact i dont reply, i pretty much mumble to myself. so i'm not actually giving him any credit or anything. he waited 2 months plus to tell me all that, and if i'm hoping he'll hang around for 2 more, i am taking him for granted. wow, i feel rotten.. - its all my fault, isnt it..
--> well, if he backs off after i told him all i was afraid of, its not a loss to me. but if what i told him hurt him, then maybe it is my fault. then again, maybe he misunderstood what i was saying and thinks i'm commitment-phobic and...so he doesnt think its worth a shot. - it came too late
--> life goes on, al.
so thats that. have a good weekend everyone. the shoe-fugitive lives on for yet another week. tune in next week to see if she'll make it through another week..