i dont believe myself
if you read my last entry, i said i like 2 guys, K and W. but that didn't stop me from missing W so much today. i have no idea why. yes, i like him, so it a perfectly normal reflex to miss him, but especially today, i miss him. maybe more than yesterday.
funny, i actually owe W a lot even though i may have feelings for another. for one, he was my muse. and here's one i wrote about him called Disco Baby.
Disco Baby,
I cannot love you more
than your thumb and fingers four.
I wish the best for you;
Disco Baby - Adieu.
i wrote that a while back, there's a lot more to it, but it sums up what it was all about. its sort of a bittersweet thing, cause somehow i know this is just a phase, and one day it'll end.
i want to trust him so badly, but i dont know if i can. i know he can take care of me, i mean, duh. after the puke-fest extravaganza that was a definite pass. but as far as how true the things he says are, well...
i gave him a pillow as a housewarming gift cause he moved into his new place last year, in november if i'm not mistaken. and nailclippers cause he needs to cut his nails, i hope he uses them. they're bloody expensive for a small piece of metal i could have easily stolen, but no, i had to pay for it. plus they were so-called airline approved, cause you cant bring the conventional type of nailclippers onboard since they're sort of a hazard (yeah, i can just picture someone running amok up and down the narrow aisles with nailclippers. oh my, so scary.) and there were chocolates as well. i dont know if he's a chocolate eater, but i know he's a definite eater. no offense to him or anything, but sometimes its kinda scary how much he can eat...and the speed, wow. (now thats scary) come to think of it, i dont know if he got the chocolates. they were Hershey's Kisses (okay, okay, i know..kinda corny but the title is i dont believe myself)
bottom line is i miss him a lot, and i can only see him in march. between the 12th to the 19th. then it'd be...i dont know how long till i see him again.
okay al, snap out of it. i'm starting to sound like a love-sick puppy. maybe its the cloudy, depressing weather outside.