on being tactful
studying in a mainly muslim community for the past year and a half has opened up my eyes in many ways as to how muslims live..hardest point being the fasting month when food is scarce and the key to survival is PATIENCE. its not so bad cause i dont really have that many muslim friends outside college. i dont really mind it but its a real bite in the ass when the enforcement of rules come into play, especially about gender segregation. i've never been taught to isolate myself from members of the opposite sex simply because thats the way things are done.
another thing i had to adjust to was the food here. let me make it public: I LOVE PORK. and the numerous ways in which this glorious meat can be cooked. so living here has completely robbed me of a near 2 years of pork-free life. so what the hell am i blogging about? let me put it this way, yesterday one of my friends was asked (she being the only non-muslim at the table) during a meal "what does pork taste like?".....excuse me, i just dont think that was the right time or place. she didnt know how to explain.i dont blame her. and it wasnt right to put her on the spot like that.
i dont know if the person who asked the question was aware of the effect of her asking that or not. but either way, it was quite selfish and insensitive to ask that. not just to my friend, but to the other people at the table who may have been taken aback by the question.
also, yesterday i was asked by a friend to relate to him christian "legends" and "myths". if he meant accounts of miracles and stuff in the bible, then he already used the wrong word, because to me, they're not "legends" or "myths" . they're real. so i was a little miffed by it. but i didnt really take offense cause maybe he didnt mean it. i just asked him what he meant. then he told me he wanted stories of saints and the disciples so he can look it up on the net. then it hit me...he wanted what st this-that-or-other did..well, my church is actually quite liberal, and i was not taught what st this-that-or-other did. i was even asked why i didnt wear a cross...isnt it my choice to wear a cross? my parents dont see the significance in it, and i certainly dont. whats more important is what is on the inside that what you see on the outside, isnt that what faith is all about? and now with the cross being more of a fashion statement that a religious one, whats the point?
i know they mean well, but sometimes its not what you ask, but how you ask it...simple tactfulness y'know?