is it the music that connects me to you?
its been a while since i posted a proper entry. a proper entry here meaning that i've given some thought into what i want to say rather than just talk nonsense or complain. or go on and on about how i want to cut my hair and need to lose weight, both of which are true.
just the other day i had some time to do absolutely nothing, and just watch the sunset and see the clouds go by. so i did and it really helped me think about whats going on right now.
PATRON OF THE ARTS?
there is an art exhibition going on at ramsay ong's gallery ARTrageous now. managed to pop in to see what it was all about and i must say, that i really enjoyed my trip there. the stuff on display was very interesting. but then again if you're like me, and go GAGA over artsy stuff easily. i do wish, however, that i could do more to support the local art scene. especially native art.
all that weaving and what not. and the thing is, these things were made to LAST. the baskets and mats and what not, were all made to be durable. but the cost of these things...my god.
the sad thing about whats happening about the native art scene is that its dying out. there's no one in my generation that i know who wants to carry on with it. and i hate to say it, but i cant do more for it either. and its so sad!
DO I HAVE A HOMING DEVICE ON ME?
when i was visiting the art gallery, the man in charge there started talking to me and iain, and was just explaining things to us. you know, the whole "oh...this is yadayada and this is yadayada". THEN he looks at me and asks "are you bidayuh?"
now, nevermind the fact that i've just discovered that my paternal grandfather is an IBAN. he married a bidayuh lady (oh isnt it great the dayaks are not chopping off each other's heads anymore) and my dad married a bidayuh lady. and since i've only found out LAST YEAR about this (adoption complicates things, you see) i still consider myself bidayuh. plus its more convenient anyways.
back to the gallery, mr art man asks me if i'm bidayuh and i'm thinking "HOW DO YOU KNOW??" oh well. makes no difference i guess. because he started talking to me in bidayuh and thankfully, his dialect bears some resemblance to my mother's. so i was at least able to understand SOME. but i couldnt answer in bidayuh. though i bet if i had some alcohol in my blood stream i'd be able to. dont ask me why, it just works that way.
TAXI-RIDE PHILOSOPHIES
some of the most interesting people i've met, are OLDER, and...ok i had a list of characteristics tha they might share but now that just sounds petty and coincidental. what i'm trying to say here is that some people who are extremely interesting, were not who i expected at all.
i dont know if i've ever mentioned THE LEKOR MAN. well, we never asked his name, and he usually sold keropok lekor on weekends in the park near my college so he's the lekor man. very interesting, because me and audrey, at the time, were SO obviously NOT from seremban. and he responded in english. and one day he told us about himself. apparently he had been a military pilot or something in the 70's. who later became a commercial pilot. in the united states. in the 70's. so he had the beard and the hair going. and apparently got deported cause he was at the wrong place at the wrong time. but extremely fun to talk to. he was caught having an affair by his wife, but later that kinda solved itself. i think now he's teaching english at some private college in kota bahru or something like that for lots and lots of cash.
then there's CAB DRIVERS. i guess its meeting people from all over and talking to them that makes them fun. and kinda open minded too. i know there are cab drivers who can be quite rude, but there are that minute few that seem not to mind to engage in conversation while driving you somewheres. some are retired, some are really doing it as a living.
there's LILIAN. the lady i worked with at the fat camel as a cleaner. now she wasnt joking when she said that the job was very physical. i blame that job for my huge arms. all that lifting. ugh. back to lilian. she's OLD. and SHORT. and CHINESE. from china. and she puts a LOT of effort into the work she does! by the time another cleaning company had taken over and i had to leave, we were somewhat friends. but i really admired what she was doing. she put so much effort into a job she did not necessarily have to do. her son is working but i think she was doing this cause she wanted to keep herself occupied. but boy was she a character. note to self: must wish her a happy cny...
so yea..
and i've been watching WHAT THE BUCK on youtube a lot. and recently michael buckley posted up a video on why he's so happy. and there were some points that really stood out.
1. being happy is a choice. it is a conscious choice. you choose to feel how you want to feel. and if being sulky makes you happy...go for it.
2. deciding that it takes more than petty things to make you sad. guess it takes an openly gay man to tell us that. if he can be open about who he is and be able to take all the negativity some people channel to him because of that, then what more can be said about us?
i'm tired of typing.
01.30.08 (10:59 pm) [
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miscommunication
its strange how miscommunication happens.
bleh
there's still that bottle of vodka at iain's place. beckoning, beckoning. just beyond the wood panel of the cabinet. DAmn you vodka. Damn you to hell! where you'd catch on FIRE!
not much to say today.
01.29.08 (12:51 am) [
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cloverfield review
movie review for cloverfield on my multiply. did it cause i was bored.
the link is under the list of links as OTHER BLOG.
01.20.08 (1:14 am) [
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its raining outside
its a lazy sunday afternoon and its raining outside. nothing particular to blog about but i AM still coughing, boo.
watched cloverfield last night. and i think...NOT BAD. i'd like to watch the sequel or prequel or what they're releasing next. just out of curiosity. i wouldnt say i'm a fan, but it does interest me. although i did get a headache watching the movie because of how shaky it was.
aside from that, i may have been provoking the wrath of the parents because:
A) i have gone missing for the past two weeks
B) i missed church
ohshitohshitohshit. well, maybe i've brought it upon myself. but seriously. since living on my own in auckland, i've gotten so used to just doing things i wanna do. and i dont really like living with my parents. i dont mind it. but i dont like it.
update on my kitty cat: he's doing fantastic. he has put on most, if not all. the weight he lost as a result of being poisoned. he walks and runs better now. coordination has improved. and he's more active. eating a lot more too. all that said, he still cant jump down and land on his feet. but aside from that little detail, he's doing amazingly well. and he's such a good cat.
MOVING ON....
i've come to realise now that since i've left kuching about a year ago to study in auckland, things have changed around here. some subtle changes, some may-jah. i know the maybank next to my church has moved across the road, along with the bakery that was next to it. the spot where they used to be has been bought over by a new fast food outlet, which has chicken that i'm looking forward to. we now have two malls. there are so many of these male crossdressers now that popped out of nowhere..(and the scary thing is that sometimes i cant tell till iain points them out.) i dont have dogs anymore. my neighbour's dog has gotten fat, but is still such a sweetie. (her name's Patsy)
other things that have changed include, what i would like to call, GROUP DYNAMICS. and with this i'm referring to how groups interact and bond etc etc. basically your friends lah. ok? over time, its practically inevitable that this should change. but how drastic it is, can be pretty shocking. and scary.
i'm still very close to the bunch of people i choose to be close with. i still keep in touch with former schoolmates. i cant just cut them off, we grew up together and we still have good times hanging out. some of them have moved elsewhere to work or continue studying, but i think its really special how we still keep in touch. i miss some of them very much cause i havent seen them in a long while. (the ukraine bunch :P )
but there are some...acquaintances, shall i say (since i was never very close to them) who have apparently made a huge change. i dont mean to come across as talking bad about them, but what the hell happened?? and i know i dont know everything thats going on about them so who am i to judge ya da ya da i'm such a nosy bitch i should shut up but this is my fucking blog so go get a life and laugh a little. but i really do remember them as being a fun bunch. a fun bunch that could hang out and enjoy lots of laughs just talking.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??
its like all the happiness (or sugar) got sucked out of them and now all thats left is a bunch of sombre.......ADULTS. you know? all jaded and bitter and...just not fun. christ. i've seen them about town on several occasions. and where's the happiness and light heartedness that i remembered them for? what kinda alien invaded the earth, planted his seed in them that took over their body? cause that really looks like whats happened. and its scary!
if thats what its like to grow up, i dont think i want to.
and its not like you cant have fun being an adult either. NOR is there anything wrong if you were to have fun growing up.
if you were to ask me now, what i'd like to do.
i would tell you
"i want to be a writer and bake in my free time. possibly both for money. and travel. and be happy"
be happy!
should we administer a dose of HAPPY intravenously to all sombre adults out there? i say AYE.
01.20.08 (12:50 am) [
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impulse
well i'm glad to say that i'm feeling much better. the frog i swallowed that croaked when i spoke is almost vanquished. and maybe when its completely gone, i'll talk non-stop. i remember saying when i was 13, and kept getting sore-throats every year around gawai time (early june) that i LIKED how i sounded and i DONT LIKE my sore-throaty croak. the worst was in sibu for the choir sompetition when i had a sore throat so bad after the competition, i sounded like a DUDE the next day. serious shit yo.
in other news, i havent been a very good daughter this past week. or two. if i'm grounded till i leave for nz i say PAH! i'm pretty much in trouble. but as to how much? well....i daresay a LOT. a shitload.
i'm considering moving blogs to somewhere else. not that i'm tired of blogging here. ok, i'll admit, tblog can be rather testing (and thats putting it mildly) when i cant upload pictures easily, OR cant access tblog itself. SO maybe i'll start looking around elsewhere. i did have another blog somewhere else for less that 2 hours (YEA) and deleted it soon after cause i thought, good GOD i have tblog, a multiply and now this?? no way am i going to invest time making this a great blog. besides, i dont think that many people visit my blog for me to have steady readers. i know some friends who do read my blog but other than that, i dont know.
toodles people.
01.18.08 (12:08 pm) [
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i think i'm paranoid
not much going on nowadays. the spring has opened meaning no more late night drive-by's to see whats new with the place. a lot of hype if you ask me. and if it werent for elianto or the face shop, i daresay that the place is not as organised as it should be. there is only ONE floor's worth of basement parking, people have NO idea where the exits are (THERE'S ANOTHER ONE ON THE RIGHT!!) and some of the shops arent even open yet. screw this "soft opening" nonsense. open things when they're good and ready. stop half-assing the kuching public with this unfinished work. i'm talking to you too, boulevard. i chastise you BOTH.
other than that, i'm STILL trying to enroll for my electives. and its only ONE class this coming semester. ONE CLASS with ONE TUTORIAL. which i have chosen AND Tried to enroll for. again and again. and again. and still i get this error that says that its clashing with some other class which in fact has got SEVERAL slots over the week so of course its going to clash damn it!! *exhale* i think i've woken some people up with my vigorous typing. and YET i worry because it is a very popular class. come on man! Film, TV and Media studies! why wont you wanna be in that class? and, if i plan my timetable right, i get thursdays off and only have one class on friday. wheee! but that means that monday to wednesday is packed like crazy. think sardines :P get it, packed? :D oh i'm so funny.
i kid.
i think i'm coming down with a flu. or a cold. i have a sore throat that makes me sound really really really sick. not too upset about it. i just sound like a man at times. which can be pretty useful when picking up the phone.
on to more mindless tapping...the weather in kuching has been looking much better recently. more sunny days with a nice breeze. and if you've been indoors rotting away, i suggest that you take it upon yourself to go out into the sun and embrace this lovely tropical weather lest it take a turn for the worse and turn into some heavy rain with thunder and lightning and hail stones and shit. well, not shit literally, but you get what i mean.
watched the game plan last night. yes, the disney movie with the rock in it. the one thing that i've always liked about the rock is the fact that he CAN make fun of himself. i mean, did you see him in BE COOL?
i gotta find out what can be done about my enrollment asap. i do NOT wanna be left out of that class.
OO exciting news, the creators of ice age are apparently going to be doing dr seuss' HORTON HEARS A WHO? i'm gonna scout out the trailer on youtube now.
toodles!
01.16.08 (7:43 pm) [
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screw world hunger and third world debt - i'm having a bad day
its been a pretty shitty day. not in the sense that something bad has happened but in the sense that i'm in a bad mood. i dont know why but i just am.
so...
- i'm feeling fat.
- i dont know what to do with my hair.
- my skin is terrible.
- i need to lose some weight.
- i want to go swimming.
- apparently i have big arms.
- my feet hurt.
- my shoes have rubbed some skin off my foot so its kinda raw now.
- i'm kinda broke.
- my room is a mess.
- i wish i didnt have to wear glasses.
- i want new makeup.
- i wish i had skinnier, firmer legs.
- i dont like my belly.
- there's a huge zit on my chin and its annoying me.
- i need to get my eyebrows done.
- nailpolish on my toes is chipping.
- i wish i had a smaller frame.
- why dont they make clothes for girls with my frame????????? not everyone is a small-boned, bow-legged, petite typical asian girl. and i'm not that big either.
on with the complain list:
- why cant there be more things to do in kuching?
- why arent there any good movies out?
- why arent there places that are cheap to go to?
- why is it so hot today?
- why couldnt i have met iain sooner?
- why did my neighbours poison my cat?
why OH WHY cant some people just shut up sometimes?
in other news...the spring is open and i have a new pair of jeans. woohoo. fix the parking problem there you not-planning-ahead morons.
i should never be allowed to have absolute power. if i did, and i were to have a bad day, i'd blow some things up.
just because i can.
01.14.08 (1:12 am) [
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i'm in a dilemma
now i check my account balances quite regularly, and something has popped up recently that has been bothering me. if it comes to money, i can get very worried. i know i can splurge like mad, and its a good thing i dont have a credit card. but money remains a very serious issue for me.
it seems that when i check my transactions online, a dollar has been deducted each month since october, and each time this happens it is labeled as O/L Bank Fee Mth or something like that. is that an overdraft thing? and if so, correct me if i'm wrong but i thought an overdraft is when the amount withdrawn has exceeded the amount in the account. so, what the dilly yo?
to find out their overdraft charges, i searched the site (thank GOD for online banking) and apparently overdraft charges are 0.12% each month OR $3.00 minimum. so, what the hell is this one dollar being deducted each month??
i know it may seem like such a small amount, but its still money to me! i already pay income tax for working last year, i get $7.50 (NZD) deducted each time i make a transaction AND i get charged another percentage for making an international transaction. GOD i hate dealing with money issues.
i suppose another way to get around this is to stop splurging. which i'm trying. but it kinda backfires when you end up paying RM35 for sushi. (BLOODY HELL!) yes. RM35 for some bits of fish, some rice and seaweed and some mean green stuff. was it worth it? i daresay..NAY. because although i thoroughly enjoyed my bits of fish with rice and seaweed, it was a little too much.
DAMN YOU SALMON...why OH WHY must you be so yummy?
i need a good sushi fix. pronto.
i miss you salmon nigiri. and i miss the salmon and avocado roll. and i miss the seaweed thing. and i miss the one with the eggs. and i miss you ramen. and i miss you seaweed. and i miss you glutinous sushi rice.
i have a tube of wasabi but its kinda pointless when there's no affordable, quality sushi around to enjoy it with. (notice its the wasabi i enjoy with the sushi not the other way around). AND judging by the way iain and i keep guzzling the stuff down, i dont think it'd last long.
where's some good sushi when you need some??????????
i'm VERY VERY VERY picky about the quality of the
- salmon
- rice
- seaweed
- soy sauce
where are the good sushi when you need them??
i'll go and cry now :'(
01.08.08 (12:15 pm) [
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how surreal
so here comes the first entry 2008. i've had this blog a few years now and my oh my has it grown. i never knew i'd be blogging for as long as i have. anything new so far?
SKUDI
i bought a new stuffed toy and its really cute. he's a black horse and is apparently the ferrari horse thingy. he's really cute and i couldnt put him down after touching it. so i just got it. and he's so CUTE!
OUR POLICE
has bad customer service.
well..there's not much to say, really. i'm not exactly feeling well and i need to tidy up my room. washed my cat earlier and he was surprisingly quite calm about it. he didnt even try to get out of the sink. thats a good cat :)
i dont feel like i'm doing much with my holidays. or am doing as much as i'd like to be. i just feel like i need to put myself out there and really DO something.
01.03.08 (2:06 am) [
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