the Long Distance Relationship Club

i'm glad to say i'm feeling much better today :)
 
well, the thing about the title is cause me and one of my friends got real close recently (maybe the shopping yesterday did it). we both are in long distance relationships and we both have rotten exes. i guess we do have quite a few things in common. its quite comforting to know that i'm not the only one in a long distance relationship and although iain is there to help keep what we have going, and we're both encouraging each other, its nice to have girlfriends who can relate to what you're going through.
 
nowadays, i'm trying to keep myself busy, especially with the exams round the corner. (ok i did my nails a little and had to recover from yesterday's fever PLUS the shopping spree yesterday) but i did do some studying (i love you wikipedia!) to catch up cause i missed lectures and all.
 
but sometimes it gets a little lonely these days cause i cant contact iain and he cant contact me either. but he'll be back in kk tomorrow :) i can tell him about my new shoes :P (yes i do tell him silly things like that and he rolls his eyes and listens but spotted a few LBD's in kk - I'M A SIZE 6 IAIN!!).
 
i read somewhere that one of the things girls love about guys is how they treat us like little kittens. and i cant say its not true. iain is very protective (as he should be) and...its just nice to feel like you're being taken care of - that you're in good hands :) what i really enjoy about his company is how we can play these strange mind games and be silly with him and then talk about how the education system is messed up and then get silly again and its all ok. i guess i'm writing all this now cause i know he wont be reading them that soon and wont be all embarassed :P
 
he's quite a teddy bear (OH IF YOU ONLY KNEW HIS PET NAME :P) yes he does have one. iain if you read this LONG after i wrote it...uh... :D
YES YES I MISS HIM A LOT.
 
its nice to have girlfriends who are going through the same things i am and we can lean on each other to get through this. there are 4 other girls (meaning there are 4 other guys) i know who are in long distance relationships and they know how tough it gets.
 
iain said once maybe we should get together and make a club or something....that just sounds depressing. what would we do? sit around and eat chocolate and cakes and cookies and shop and talk about guys? we kinda do that already. its raya season, so there's all those goodies.
 
its the 31st of october meaning its my brother's birthday, so happy 20th birthday to him.
 
and happy halloween to the rest of you.
 
i think i'm rediscovering lenny kravitz 
10.31.07 (6:41 am)   [edit]

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fever

what is worse than having a very heavy period, or being sick? i saw both. fever does funny things to people. i went shopping today (I FOUND MY RED SHOES) and shopping never felt so hard. my fingers and toes were cold and i kept shivering, so i had to wear my jacket indoors. well, i'll take some panadol after dinner or something. i just hope i get better before the exam. i need to do well in this paper.
 
OH.
 
BIG NEWS. 
 
I FOUND MY RED SHOES.
 
still on the quest for the LBD.
 
ok, i have to go feed myself and heal myself now.  
10.30.07 (12:31 am)   [edit]

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2 weeks

its crazy. in just about 2 weeks, my first year in auckland is over. i havent done much travelling (not that i'm proud of that) but i've got 2 more years here. PLENTY of time.
 
i am officially a fan of threading. i had it done yesterday at the diwali festival at britomart and i LOVE the result. (speaking of which, HAPPY DIWALI TO EVERYONE WHO'S CELEBRATING) it was So fast and the lady did a really good job on my eyebrows. i had some henna done on my hand with shaz but i didnt leave mine on as long as she did. so hers turned out really bright. I LOVE THIS CULTURE STUFF! and i bought a jewellery set that i LOVE and a beautiful skirt (that you can wear as a dress) and there was SO much good food too :) there were fireworks tonight. i bought some clothes that turned out too big for me :( so i guess i'll give it to my mama. hopefully it fits her good.
 
i just called iain and by the sound of it, he's having a good time in sabah. :) i really miss him.
 
i'm not working anymore (finally its OVER!!) i cant believe lilian is still going to be going to work tomorrow and STILL doing the same things. she's a really nice lady. she brought her son along today to help and he's alright. for some odd reason kinda reminds me of azam.
 
its mid exam season and i've got to buckle down for the next two papers and start preparing to pack. MUST BUY DUCT TAPE.
 
the one thing i'll miss about work is the pay :P  
10.28.07 (7:35 am)   [edit]

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AAAAAAAAARGH!!

well i cleared up some money i owe this place with the landlady this morning. and everything will be alright.
 
HERE's THE SHITTIEST NEWS I'VE RECEIVED ALL DAY.  the marks for langtchng 101 are out and...how shall i put this. i havent  seen scores like that for myself since..oh i dunno, my secondary school days. hows about the first time i look the AS papers? well, you get the rough idea. i pass but just barely.
 
GOODBYE HONOURS DEGREE. a B- average student, i am not.
 
part of me wants to laugh thinking "oh god, dUH..you practically didnt go for any classes and didnt even have the book for it - whaddaya expect?"
 
the other part of me is thinking "jesus christ - you're in uni and sponsored. yadayadayada"
 
i think its pretty obvious which side of me i'm listening to.
 
then iain's words came back to haunt me. "just dont fail it ok, you dont want to have to repeat a course you dont like".
 
i think this is symptomatic of my intellectual vanity, if you can call it that. if i dont find what i'm learning to be interesting or challenging, i dont bother. i'm sure most of you know by now how common-sense i found the course to be. well, evidence of this vanity and my disposition towards how interesting or challenging what i'm learning is...can be seen in how i studied ADD MATHS in secondary school...PHYSICS was another one. but i liked bio and chem (chem more than bio) so i studied a little for that...then came the a-levels. it was practically focused on LIT and SOCIOLOGY for me, and it was a SCREW YOU!! to maths. i had to map out how to score the most points in the math papers based on mark weightage and predicting what topics were most likely to come out (i'm quite good at spotting exam questions like that).
 
lesson of the day - uh...study what you like and if you cant, you're as screwed as me.  
10.24.07 (8:50 pm)   [edit]

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this friday

first paper is this friday. i cant seem to sit myself down to read and look over notes and what not.
 
apparently i'm behind my rent. oh GOD. i'll have to talk to the landlady about it and say i'll pay as much as i can. money's a little tight with the fridge on my bill too.
 
this sunday marks the last day of work. hurrah :P
 
its also the end of the month (well, close enough) and that means MONEY COMES IN :D
 
i miss iain terribly.  
10.24.07 (4:40 am)   [edit]

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rrrrrrRRRRADIO SILENCE!

iain's gone to sabah today. and he wont be back till the 11th of november. thats about 2 weeks plus. he's gone to spend time with his daddy and mountain-climbing cows. i really hope he'll have a good time in sabah and i'm looking forward to seeing him again on the 13th of november.
 
the suckiest part is that he'll be away at the camp in god knows where with his daddy and mountain climbing cows and there's NO internet or cell phone coverage. so i may not hear from him much while he's there, although he did say he'll contact me as much as possible once he's in kk. i'll do the same.
 
in any relationship its absolutely essential that there's communication, especially a long distance one. 
 
i'll just miss him so much these next few weeks. 
 
could be a chance to focus on the exams (like he told me to).
 
maybe it'd give us stuff to catch up on in november.
 
quite a few songs on my playlist were from him :(
 
maybe being a little upset like this has caused the bad dreams i've been having recently.
 
anyhoo...thats about it for today.  
 
 
10.23.07 (2:21 am)   [edit]

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tying myself up in knots

i am having the WORST day today. bad weather, work was tiring as hell, bad weather on the way back, i'm cold and hungry and i'm grumpy and i swear to god i will bite someone's head off if they rubbed me the wrong way today.
 
I LIVE HERE AS MUCH AS YOU FUCKING DO, ok? i hate the fact that the little puppy you sneak in has to use the bathroom when I want to. i hate the fact that you NEVER ran it past me if i was ok with it in the first place. i guess that shows how much respect you ever had for me as someone who shares this place eh? I had the decency to ask if you would be ok if iain ever came over but did YOU ever do the same for me? GOOD GOD NO! did it ever even cross your fucking MIND That at least I SHOULD KNOW? I LIVE HERE AS MUCH AS YOU DO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. maybe not as much since you seem to be cooped up forever in your den but hell, there are SOME THINGS YOU DO NOT TO CROSS PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY PEOPLE WHO YOU THINK OR TREAT LIKE THEY WERE CLOSE.
 
CLOSE AS WE EVER HAD BEEN, it is STILL common courtesy to ASK if its ok with me. THATS my biggest GRIPE. THATS WHATS PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WHY, oh WHY DID it NEVER cross your mind to TRY and be polite?
 
jesus christ you go and assume i'd never find out. what kind of a dumbass do you take me for?
 
i dont have a problem that he sleeps over and uses the shared areas in this shithole, but you never told me. and THAT is what is tying me up in knots.
 
you and your arrogance with your whole bogus policy of not greeting people till they greet you first. what IS that??
 
i look forward to not dealing with you next year.
 
the birthday gift was just me being civil - its a whole lot better than giving someone a damn box isnt it? some amount of thought you put into that.
 
i never hope to meet anyone like you ever again.
 
i'm sorry we ever were friends.
 
 
ANYHOO...what else went wrong today?
 
at work, its fucking labour day, ok? and i have to work at this stupidly understaffed hostel that doesnt even have enough rooms OR sheets for their guests. at least rebecca was nice. she's always been nice.
 
i cant wait to stop working there.
 
the weather was terrible. on the way to work it was windy as hell and cold. on the way back it was windy AND it was raining. AND i was hungry.
 
did someone just flip the season back to winter for laughs?
 
ugh, i'm going to use the shower now before its occupied by whatever.
 
ROLL EYES!
ROLL EYES!
ROLL EYES!
ROLL EYES! 
 
10.21.07 (7:43 pm)   [edit]

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killing two pigeons with one SHOE!!!

i can personally tell you that IT IS POSSIBLE. especially if we're talking about the pigeons in the quad at uni. why are they so stupidly tame yet damn ferocious when it comes to food? god almighty, those pigeons are FAT and i wont be surprised if the butter chicken was really butter pigeon :P
 
so here i am at 2 am munching on chips and dip (MMMM) but i have yet to open the dip jar. AARGH! 
 
ok i got it.
 
now, there are a few things on my mind right now.
 
  • the  situation at work. well another company's taking over the contract, like i've mentioned before (i think). at first i thought they would keep some of the current staff, with priority being given to older staff members. but NYET, thats not the case. they are getting rid of current staff as well. all's good for me, since i'm going back anyway. what i'm concerned about is what would happen to lillian. thats her work. thats what she does to earn money to support herself AND her mother. as far as i know, thats all she does. maybe she has a little business on the side, i dont know. but after i overheard a conversation she had with the manager regarding the whole getting-rid-of-current-cl eaning-staff thing, after that she was a quieter than usual. i feel so bad for her. i really am going to get her something before i leave.
  • the place i work at is SEVERELY UNDERSTAFFED. they need a maintenance man, kitchen hands, night audits, (they got enough receptionists but i think SAM IS MEAN). according to the lady i work with on the weekends (teresa) they actually would need at least 4 cleaners on the weekdays if they want the standards up to what they think 2 cleaners can do. look, i've said this before on the blog, but if there are only 2 cleaners who have to clean 5 residential floors and 2 public areas as well as the stairwell toilets, keeping in mind that ALL rooms have to be done by 1 pm, there's only so much we can do. its logistically impossible..seriously.
  • SAM IS THE MEANEST RECEPTIONIST THERE. the rest are nicer and talk to us nicely but she kinda scowls (i dunno if she permanently scowls) and has this expression of "OH REALLY?" written on her face. she's just not nice. i'm going to guess that its hard having to put on a pleasant front and be RESPECTABLE to people but HEY, you're on the frontlines working as a receptionist. you HAVE to deal with people. oh and by the way, you dont look any prettier with makeup on.
  • with all the current MAKANS since its raya season, i think i've put on some weight (since thats what would usually happen if you eat a lot) i feel so FAT! boo hoo...
  • iain's going to be in sabah with his daddy this coming tuesday and there's no internet connection OR phone reception at the camp. but i guess during the weekends we can catch up. :( he'll be back in kuching a day before i leave auckland, so thats pretty ok. i'll see you when i get back, but i'll miss you terribly till then. take pics of those mountain climbing cows ;)
  • this coming monday is labour day here. and i'm working :'( i know i'll be paid extra, but i'm already working weekends, damnit!
  • oh yes, since i'm feeling quite crappy about working this monday, i decided to treat myself to some products from LUSH. i really trust LUSH products, and i'd recommend it to EVERYONE. seriously.
  • ronnie complimented me on my jacket! coming from ronnie, its a BIG DEAL. :D
  • its been unusually chilly these past few days. no idea why.
  • yesterday was the inflatable fun here at railway and the free bbq. it was SO MUCH FUN! they had a velcro wall (i cant somersault and stick to it upside down) and the inflatable gladiator thing with the giant cotton buds. i couldnt stop spinning on the platform i was on (cause it spins based on your own weight) till one of the mara guys had to hold me still and hand me the giant cotton bud. now there's an idea for a party - inflatable castle, velcro wall, gladiator etc...and a bbq. OH FUN! then there was the dessert cruise. which i thought was kinda boring till the end of it. food was awesome. there was fondue :D and all kinds of stuff to eat. and then they played some awesome mooseek to dance to. sugar high on a boat? sounds good to me :P
oh well kiddos. those are the whats on my mind right now. funny, exams are coming up and that didnt make the list :P
 
i have yet to try the exploding pigeon thing on uni/quad pigeons. will let you know if ever i do.
 
you all have a nice weekend since i cant have one.  
10.20.07 (6:23 am)   [edit]

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wow you really are a social fucktard

its amazing how some people can be incredibly ignorant and arrogant all at the same time. i guess you could attribute this to them being socially fucktarded. now i cant pinpoint if there is a causal link, where if one was a social fucktard one would be incredibly ignorant and arrogant all at the same time, or vice versa. what i do know is that there is a correlation being socially fucktarded and being incredibly ignorant and arrogant all at the same time. either ways, its still socially fucktarded.
 
should i go into detail? i'm tempted. incredibly so. its like an itch i need to scratch. but lets just say the social fucktard has nobody else to blame other than their own socially fucktarded self when, oh i dont know, shall i continue? hmm...
 
i should be resting, and i guess this is how i rest, since i'll be working tomorrow. guess that means i'm missing the last lecture for that course tomorrow. that means the final lecture for the day was today. hurrah!
 
hey social fucktard, some common courtesy wont hurt you, you know.
 
*roll eyes*
*shake head*
*muttered cursing* 
10.17.07 (2:47 am)   [edit]

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are ya gonna go my way?

well i sorted out the internet issue. i dont have to pay :P all's well again, railway's not such a bad place to live in (again) and maybe, just maybe, i can buy the nono doll :) its one of the dolls in the los deglingos collection. google it. those toys are cute. i think i have a thing for these strange looking animals.
 
i read on yahoo about this lady who's documenting every death that's happened in downtown LA. and she found 700 so far. most of these deaths were young men, i saw a few that were kids - they were just 14 even. one or two were mistaken identities, some of them wanted out of the life on the streets when they were killed. some of them were fathers, and had young children when they died. (young like an 8 month old baby for one guy)
 
i guess its a good move on the journalist's part, putting these deaths into some sort of memorial that otherwise would just be neglected.
 
i dont know what i'd do if i were to lose iain that way.
 
these were such young men, some of them, and thats what has gotten me most. they were in their early 20's, some were teenagers...i cant imagine the grief their loved ones went through, and are still having to go through.
 
well..america and her guns policy i suppose.
 
its such a violent...god i cant even find the word for it. its a neighbourhood where killings like that happen so often they dont even make the news. what is that? someone died. and nobody needs to know about it?
 
google it if you're interested - the homicide blog.
 
oh yes...there was something on nst online about excellence schools having links to universities. hurrah for those schools. but does anyone else pick up on the flaws of such an idea?
 
would such a move obstruct other students from other schools wanting to enter uni? is it just me, or do you get this feeling that these schools would be from the urban areas? do you see who could be kept out of uni here? there is already a priority list created. (i should know, i'm on one)
 
secondly, lets face it - who, in the malaysian education system, fresh out of form 5 (i count form 6 as pre-u here) can leap to tertiary education? the interface (finally some of that education lingo becomes useful) between secondary and tertiary education in malaysia is such that people still need to go through pre-u of some sort before jumping in to their degree. YES, JUMPING IN. 
 
would it be good for malaysian youths if they were allowed to take a gap year of some sort? i mean, a break from all that bookworming. i know i appreciated the 6 month gap between my a-level and first year of uni.
 
after all that bookworming, you get a piece of paper that says you've now studied enough (for now) and you go work. when's the break?
 
depressing entry over now.  
 
 
10.15.07 (7:50 pm)   [edit]

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raya pics

some raya pics are up on my multiply. there's a link from here to there. it should say OTHER BLOG.

if you need a multiply account to look at it, and you dont have one...well it sucks to be you :P 

10.15.07 (7:59 am)   [edit]

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karma's a bitch

i guess sam was right - karma's a bitch. SO what went wrong with today?
 
  1. the couple from brazil arent working at where i work anymore - lilian and i had to put in 6 hours of work today...and i dont know if i'm getting paid for that.
  2. the pillowcases and sheets arrived late today - how the hell am i supposed to make beds if there are no sheets or pillowcases? needless to say, this just made work all the more sucky.
  3. sudden requests at work to do a room that wasnt ON the list in the first place - on top of other things i have to do.
  4. there cant be a lowering of the fridge fee. i'll have to pay the full price. ok fine.
  5. since i came back from work late today, the landlady left and i didnt get a chance to talk to her about the bogus internet fee. i'll have to get up super early tomorrow to talk to her about it i guess.
  6. an essay is due on wednesday. a test is being held on wednesday. i dont have the textbook to study for that test - purely my own fault i know. i have no idea how the format of the test is going to be like either. and i dont know what to answer.
  7. it rained on the way back. the one day that i dont bring my umbrella, it rains. and as soon as i reached railway, guess what? blue skies and sunshine. absolutely no sign of any rain except for my spattered glasses and damp hair.
well..after all that, i was extremely drained after work. and i fell asleep eating pasta. i guess thats what happens when you're so tired and eating in bed.
 
if karma's out to get me cause i threw my shoe at that pigeon yesterday (which, for some odd reason, didnt fly away) then oh GOD make it stop.
 
PLUS now that i owe railway another ridiculous sum of money, i cant afford some things that i wanted to get. some are stuff i really need - like the oversized handbag (i need it for travel).
 
i was soooo exhausted i took a 4 hour nap after falling asleep in my pasta.
 
karma, if i could throw my shoe at you, i would. and we both know i dont throw shoes like a girl.  
10.15.07 (2:22 am)   [edit]

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raya in the spring

so here i was, thinking "oh god, its going to be raya". now i actually dont mind raya. there's good food, plenty of meat dishes, little treats that are usually really yummy...but i guess it was just the idea of being here in auckland, but all in all, its not too bad. especially considering the fact that raya here falls in early spring. think pretty flowers etc etc..its not all that bad.
 
there was a gathering last night in my friends' room, and i went along. it was great. it was simply just hanging out with friends and celebrating, and it felt great. seriously. we ended up staying till a little after midnight (we arrived around 8.30) and i'm so glad i went. kudos to shaz, mimie and shark for putting together that little gathering that felt SO from the heart and sincere.
 
today there was the joint open house/big makan in the marae at uni organised by 3 different malaysian societies of some kind...petunia (thats for petronas sponsored students), umsa and club umno (i know, i know). but the food was GREAT. ladies first to the food, thank you very much. sarina and i jumped up immediately when we heard that, so unashamedly i might say..but hey, we managed to avoid a really really long queue. and it was so nice seeing people just mingling and making an effort to talk to people outside their usual clique, myself included.
 
the weather was great, so we managed to take pictures outdoors. seriously, the weather could not have been better today.
 
PLUS we got to take home any leftover food. I GOT ME SOME BRIYANI FOR THE WEEEEEEK!!
 
oh yes, and there were prizes for Best Dish (since technically it was a potluck) and Best Dressed,
 
Mara sponsored students took home 3 titles...as far as i know. Best Dish was for Emma and Mara also took home the 2 awards for Best Dressed Female. Amy won for Best Dressed.
 
so thats 2 Mara kids...
 
what was that?
 
what else did the mara lot win?
 
well the other award for best dressed female.
 
you're reading her blog right now :P
 
 
p/s - if i feel like it, i just might post some pics taken that day up on mulitply or facebook or friendster... 
10.13.07 (11:07 pm)   [edit]

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HAPPY EID!!

here's to wishing all my friends and everyone else who's celebrating a SELAMAT HARI RAYA :D
10.13.07 (4:24 am)   [edit]

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doncha just hate railway sometimes?

honestly, this place drives me nuts sometimes. granted, there are some food events that i enjoyed. like the "free" pizzas and "free" bbq's or formal dinners and such. they're FREE cause we've all kinda paid for it in the deposit or in some way. BUT GOOD GOD THEY OVERCHARGE US FOR STUFF HERE.
 
  • RENT is fucking expensive. i'm paying $192.50 a week for a room thats smaller than my own in kuching, i think iain's room is bigger. and his has more furniture! and this is one of the cheaper rooms. ok fine, power and water is included, but still..$192.50? its kinda ridiculous.
  • internet is $7 a week. if you want to have it one week and not have it the next, its not just a simple $14 a month for internet. OH NOO...there's an administration fee to install it (ok, that i can somewhat see the sense in that) BUT there's also and administration fee to cancel it. BULLSHIIIIIIIIT.
  • the fridge i wrecked is going to cost up to $400. ok, fine, since i wrecked it i'll take full reponsibility for it. but my foot is it going to cost $400. at most i thought it'd cost $200. and that was with leaving leeway for any extra disposal costs since it is hazardous material. BUT $400?? sam said i could get a good fridge for $80. BEAR IN MIND, that this is NOT a FRIDGE fridge. no..this is a measly little fridge like the ones you get in hotel rooms. for $400 you could get one with a proper freezer. maybe i'll take sam up on that offer to help me move in a fridge.
  • any lost cutlery or dinnerware is overcharged.
lost books, broken pots, broken paintings are all paid for by tenants. its all split and we all end up paying an extra $2 or so for that. goD DAMN.
 
look, since i'm working, i dont mind (so much) paying for my fridge. but $400??
 
NOW..according to railway, they have "discovered that two people (or at least two computers) have been using Resnet in your room". in MY room. ok...now. here's the kicker.
 
"We will charge you for each computer accordingly"
 
what?? there has GOT to be a mistake somewhere. i went down to talk to the guy who emailed it to me, and he says he doesnt know whats going on. he was just given a list of names to email and he did it. fine, i dont kill the messenger. the landlady wasnt there, and i have to wait till monday to talk to her personally. 
 
GOOD GOD!!!
 
now, i did use aud's laptop in my room in the first semester. but if it was such a felony to use other ppl's laptop to go online, then why wasnt i charged the first time? the second time being when i used hunnie's com here during the winter break. why wasnt it detected then? and if it was, why wasnt i told that i would be charged for it?
 
what the hell is going on here???
 
i asked the messenger if there could be a mistake and he said there might..i'm hoping there is. i cant afford two internet bills. if they're going to charge me for a whole semester, its going to cost another  $500 or more. i remember the last bloodbath and i felt like i was going to faint, paying for all that shit. and now this??
 
why dont you just stick a needle in my arm and take some blood? here, a knife. NAH!! take it!  
 
another reason why i am very upset is because NOWHERE in our contract or internet warning whats-it-letter, was it written that we couldnt use another laptop to go online. NOWHERE WAS IT WRITTEN. NOBODY WARNED ME. all they said was NO DOWNLOADING SOFTWARE. FINE. that i can handle. i can work around that. and now this??
 
what did you people do? put our names into a hat and draw out the lucky 50 or so who get to pay railway a little extra before leaving?
 
i'm glad to be going and leaving this place. the way you people overcharge me, not to mention how bitchy and anal some of the RA's around here get (ok fine, ikram and lim are spared of my wrath today - BUT THAT'S ALL) i'm glad to be gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YOU. YOU WILL NOT MILK ME FOR MONEY ANYMORE!
 
YOU AND YOUR OVERCHARGING.
 
YOUR RIDICULOUSLY SMALL ROOMS.

YOUR PRINTER THAT NEVER WORKS GOOD ENOUGH.
 
YOUR COMPUTER LAB THAT IS SWIMMING IN SPYWARE AND VIRUSES THAT YOU THEN CHARGE A RESIDENT FOR ALLEGEDLY BRINGING IN WHEN HE CAUGHT IT FROM THE DAMN LAB IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU MONEY GRUBBING THIEVES!  
 
YOU AND YOUR BAD WATER PRESSURE WHEN I MOST WANT TO SHOWER.
 
YOU AND YOUR OVERCROWDED KITCHEN.
 
YOU AND YOUR STUPID SECURITY WHO CANT RECOGNISE ME EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN LIVING HERE FOR ALMOST 9 MONTHS.
 
YOU AND YOUR WASHING MACHINES THAT EAT MONEY
 
YOU AND YOUR DRYERS THAT EAT MONEY.
 
YOU AND YOUR TEEENSY TINy GYM.
 
YOU AND YOUR VERY VERY VERY FEW TV ROOMS.
 
YOU AND YOUR MISSING TV REMOTES FROM THE TV ROOMS
 
YOU AND YOUR MISSING DVD PLAYER CONTROLLERS IN THE TV ROOMS.
 
YOU AND YOUR VENDING MACHINES THAT ALSO OVERCHARGE.
 
YOU AND YOUR LOUSY MATTRESSES
 
YOU AND YOUR DRAB CURTAINS.
 
historical site MY FOOT!  
 
10.11.07 (9:54 pm)   [edit]

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do mice and men have second tries

i bring news regarding the fridge. i have reported it. and i have to pay. $400. OUCH!!

apparently this kind of stuff happens quite often, cause the landlady managed to guess exactly how i wrecked it as soon as i told her.

i know i could have not reported it since the fridge needs to be defrosted before i leave anyways..but people are moving in during summer too, and they'd probably need a fridge. so...being unselfish outweighs $400? wow. when did i get so noble? damn you hey arnold cartoons

i went to see jackie today cause she wanted to see me. and of course she knows i'm working. here's the thing that got me quite stunned..she has to write individual reports on each one of us each semester for mara. and its not just going to be about our educational achievements. now i know its their money being spent on us here and they technically have a right to know about what we're up to, but GEEZ..

but i like jackie. she's nice.  

10.10.07 (8:04 pm)   [edit]

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they're like chocolate - like cigarettes. i know they're bad for me but i just cant leave the alone.

i dont smoke tho.
 
ever wonder how messed up some people are? sometimes i wonder if some people would still hang out with me if they knew how messed up i can be.  
10.10.07 (6:17 am)   [edit]

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I. M. A. M. I. L. F.

no i'm not pregnant. nor do i have any children. its a line from a tori amos song.
 
i have yet another essay due tomorrow at 4 pm. i dont wanna do :(
 
anyways, about last week or so, there was supposed to be a meeting with the uni rep who's taking care (read: supervising) the tesl lot. apparently she had a thing or two to say about us missing lectures or arriving late. i wasnt there cause i had to work. but the people who were there said she seemed pissed. and she said something like "do you know what was written in the contract?" wanna know the truth? i have no copy of the contract for the a-levels, and i dont know what is written in the contract for my degree. so why did i sign it? it wasnt my choice now was it? if i didnt sign it, i swear my dad would have done it himself.
 
if a contract IS negotiable before signing, i'm going to negotiate my wages before i work. i should be given that chance at least. because i'll be trading my labour for money. if i dont feel that i'm being paid adequately, shouldnt i be able to ask for certain details on the contract to be amended before signing it?
 
bloody fuck la. a contract is more like a reason for blackmail than it is an assurance that an agreement is kept if both sides dont agree before signing.
 
i wonder what it takes for me to get kicked out of the bond after i finish my degree.
 
i never wanted to take this stupid course anyway.
 
what if i get married?
 
I. M. A. M. I. L. F. dont you forget M. I. L. F. dont you forget.  
 
10.08.07 (11:21 pm)   [edit]

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I. M. A. M. I. L. F.

no i'm not pregnant. nor do i have any children. its a line from a tori amos song.
 
i have yet another essay due tomorrow at 4 pm. i dont wanna do :(
 
anyways, about last week or so, there was supposed to be a meeting with the uni rep who's taking care (read: supervising) the tesl lot. apparently she had a thing or two to say about us missing lectures or arriving late. i wasnt there cause i had to work. but the people who were there said she seemed pissed. and she said something like "do you know what was written in the contract?" wanna know the truth? i have no copy of the contract for the a-levels, and i dont know what is written in the contract for my degree. so why did i sign it? it wasnt my choice now was it? if i didnt sign it, i swear my dad would have done it himself.
 
if a contract IS negotiable before signing, i'm going to negotiate my wages before i work. i should be given that chance at least. because i'll be trading my labour for money. if i dont feel that i'm being paid adequately, shouldnt i be able to ask for certain details on the contract to be amended before signing it?
 
bloody fuck la. a contract is more like a reason for blackmail than it is an assurance that an agreement is kept if both sides dont agree before signing.
 
i wonder what it takes for me to get kicked out of the bond after i finish my degree.
 
i never wanted to take this stupid course anyway.
 
what if i get married?
 
I. M. A. M. I. L. F. dont you forget M. I. L. F. dont you forget.  
 
10.08.07 (11:06 pm)   [edit]

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does this make me look fat?

as the temperatures have risen, so have the hemlines. my mini skirt has been hibernating all winter and its time to...uh, rise and shine. (??) :P anyhow, walking back from work today (which was a real bitch if you ask me) it was so warm i started to sweat and decided to take a shower as soon as i got to my room.
 
seeing as how it was such a nice warm day, i thought "hey, its been a while since i last wore that skirt". so i thought i'd wear it today...
 
after shower, i put it on.
 
lo and behold...muffin top.
 
NOOOOOOOOoooooooo........
 
well, i suppose its only natural i put on weight. i mean, my diet IS very unbalanced. spaghetti bolognaise for a week? (yea..a week) with parmesan cheese and so on.
 
as of today and this moment, i hereby declare that i will watch what i eat. and drink more water and eat more fruits. no more snacks after 9, and if i'm hungry, its..uh..honeycomb.
 
MUST TAKE MORE FRUITS.
MUST DRINK MORE WATER.
NO MORE FOOD AFTER 9 PM.
 
yes, my vanity just prompted me to start eating better.
 
oh yes...the all blacks are out of the rugby world cup thanks to the french. must be great to be french right now. sucks to be you, all blacks! :P 
10.07.07 (7:43 pm)   [edit]

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stay inside the lines

i think i'm dehydrated and extremely worn out. does that count as exhaustion? i'm not drinking as much water as i used to. dont ask why, i just dont. and i woke up late for work today..more like overslept. and guess what? the shower's occupied. so i cant brush my teeth OR wash my face. i guess thats the downside of living with someone who lives with someone who's technically not supposed to be there and whom i can get kicked out of this place. breach of contract yo.
 
its a good thing the laundry room has toilets and sinks...so clean up best i can, and rush to work. turns out there was extra help so i didnt really have to rush so badly..considering that i only had 3 hours to clear 3 floors. i dont know why but i can tell that a lot of people will be checking out tomorrow. it'll be a long day tomorrow.
 
i've started eating honeycomb. its not bad. cover it in chocolate and you'll get a crunchie bar. it tastes like smushed up cotton candy, you know how it'll turn really hard if you smush it together. and it has a tinge of bitterness in the aftertaste if you suck on it like i do. but i like it. and its pretty cheap too. a dollar :D
if you havent tried honeycomb before, you should. its actually quite nice.
 
oh no...i think i'm turning into a busta rhymes fan. 
10.06.07 (7:12 pm)   [edit]

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i hope you dont mind that i put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world

its strange that i like elton john now. well, some of his songs anyway.
 
BIG NEWS OF THE DAY: I GOT THE JACKET! and i LOVE IT! no more wind chill :) i know the last thing i'd probably need right now is a jacket, but its thin enough to be worn now, and its so pretty! its a good cutting too. i could choose between black or cream and i chose black. why? i wouldnt have minded choosing cream if it werent too ah-ma looking. know what i mean? besides, it looks just as snazzy in black. there's embroidered flowers and butterflies on it too. and i cant wait to wear it again. :)
 
the next thing i want to buy is a BIG BAG. not luggage, but a BIG BaG. to carry around. simply because i carry lots of things around nowadays. and i dont intend to carry less anytime soon. what am i carrying? lip balm, blotters, purse, phone (thats the standard content of my typical bag). now add on a little umbrella (yea, this one's tiny - its 8 inches long and 2 inches wide and an inch thick. i measured it cause i couldnt believe how small it was) i mean, knowing how unpredictable auckland weather is...a mirror, a little brush (yes, BRUSH - windy in auckland. messes up your hair). have i mentioned mirror? umm...sunblock, some food or fruit, whatever i feel like eating, hair clip or hair band, quite possibly facial wipes if i can stuff it in. so i guess if anyone were to ever snatch my bag, and i hope never will, i dont know if they'll find anything worth stealing.
 
next dilemma - what kind of bag? HMmm...another sling bag? i saw a nice one at that amazon in westfield. it was very roomy, had a nice cutting, interesting pattern, made of cotton (so i can wash it). but it did look a little slouchy. that costed $50. there was another one, thats just as big, if not bigger. and its big enough to stuff a little dog in, maybe that was the idea, i dont know. but its more structured. black and white by billabong. costed $30. maybe i should look around more. maybe after work tomorrow. maybe the structured one was a better idea. either ways, its no emergency, and can wait a week or two (read: till i get more money :P)
 
the flight tickets to JB are here!!! i'm so glad i went to the travel agency today. apparently they're relocating. to a street behind where they are now. the travel agent was supposed to call me and let me know if the tickets are there or not. she didnt. so i started getting worried and, thankfully, popped into the agency and asked if there was a problem with it. turns out its there and she should've just called me to let me know it was there to be picked up. daaamn.
 
maybe i should make my last post a little clearer, as to why i was so wound up about it. main thing is that she was ready to marry just about anyone who would ask her. why the race to the altar? you value as a person is not measured by how many people propose to you and how soon. maybe i should ask her to marry me and see if she would :P honestly, i cant bear not poking fun at people like her. i'm sorry :P i've got a few sparkly rings...maybe i'll drop to my knee in the kitchen and profess my hidden love for her all this while, and ask her to marry me...
 
BWAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA.
 
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
ha  
 
 
10.04.07 (9:05 pm)   [edit]

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the essay is due WHEN??

GAH! all this while i thought it was due on friday, but when i checked my planner again, its due tomorrow! GOD DAMN. how inconvenient. its not impossible, pull an all nighter. it should be ok. but what irks me is how DRY that particular course is. think DR FRASIER CRANE..its about cognitive processes, how people learn, and the various THEORIES involved. oh GOD. and what these theories have to say about cognition. jeeeeesus. i prefer doing things that are TANGLIBLE. at least i can see what i'm doing. rather than theorizing. know what i mean?
 
i think i'm really addicted to the chocolate chip cookies from the bakery across the road. i think i'll go get more later. they tend to sell things cheap after 3 or 4 or something for clearance. sweet no?
 
so anyways, lemme massacre something here. i just found on somebody's BLOGO..that somebody is desperate to get hitched. MARRIED. the gifts, the rings, the clothes, the fuss over you, etc etc. oh if life were a jane austen novel. there's so many things running through my head that i dont know where to begin. ok, maybe a list would help.
  • i can understand in austen's time when marriage was such a definitive thing for women. back then, if you had to work for your money, you were not in the privileged lot. and learning was something done for leisure. as was reading and so on. and even then there was a hierarchy between what job you held and so on and so forth. WHAT I'M TRYIN TO SAY HERE...is that in this day and age, women are being given the privilege to get an education and be independent on so many levels. financially, intellectually, politically (we can vote now), we can drive and own property. we no longer need to wait for a man to provide for us. gone are the days when we were passed from our father to the man who would take over.
  • marriage is so much more than the wedding. just like a relationship is more than just holding hands and saying i love you. its about a connection between two people. to sustain that connection and keep it going is far more important than a legal contract - which is basically what marriage is. its a freakin contract. you can get a civil ceremony where you just sign the damn thing and you're man and wife. no need for flowers, or cake, or whatever.
  • if you're just fixated on the pretty diamond and white gold ring, the beautiful dress, the cake and what band to play at your reception or whatever (i'm just pulling things off the top of my head) then, girl, i'm sorry but..wtf?! you can buy yourself a pretty ring, you can buy yourself a pretty dress and you can bake your own damn cake! i can refer you to rachel, she makes damn good cakes. i doubt she'd do it for free tho wink wink :P
i'm not denying that the idea is romantic, you know, a great wedding, and you live happily ever after. but GEEZ, its time you stopped reading cinderella and sleeping beauty or whatever. in my version of the little mermaid, the poor thing failed and became "foam upon the sea" and became an angel. i read that story, and good GOD do you know how many marriages end in divorce?
 
face facts - so many reasons cause that divorce statistic. blame it on wormen getting a career of their own, clashing priorities or just plain ol' promiscuity. whatever.
 
GIRL...GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE CLOUDS AND PUT YOUR FEET ON THE GROUND. and WAKE UP! a wedding will last a day. the honeymoon a bit longer, but after that comes the rest of your life. you'll be a wife maybe a mother. thats a shit load of responsibility. A SHIT LOAD. it IS daunting. because it should be. its a serious commitment that requires lot of time and energy, accountability and responsibility, trust and compromise, forgiveness and love. LOVE. love beyond the holding hands and flowers and the i-love-you's. beyond that. and it needs to continue to grow despite the stretch marks you'll get as you age, despite the fact that you'll get wrinkles and crows feet, despite the saggy tits and creaky joints. you get my point?? its as much work as it is fun. as much. and if you're not having fun and its just work, something's wrong. and if its all fun and no work, something's wrong too.
 
well, maybe its just me, since in this day and age, the validity of the phrase "till death do us part" can be questioned.
 
maybe its time to watch INTOLERABLE CRUELTY.  
10.02.07 (7:32 pm)   [edit]

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my best work yet?

so its spaghetti for meals again for the next few days. why not? i've been getting tons of free pasta and spaghetti from work AND even free sauce. unopened bottle, so why not. and so far, i think this is the best batch i've made. sauce-wise, of course. pretty good, even though i've made it several times before. so what made this one extra special? maybe the 6 tomatoes. maybe the ridiculous amount of mushrooms. maybe the ginger. the extra garlic? i dunno. but it seems to work.
 
i didnt go to work today, even though i was supposed to. why? i woke up late, realised it was late "omigod, am i late for work?" and just called in sick. i think its just exhaustion. i didnt even go to class. usually i just fall asleep anyways, wake up in time for the 10 minute break and fall asleep again. so yeah..its not like i didnt mean to go to class. i wanted to, but by the time i washed my face, i realised i wasnt going to make it in time (yea, it was that late) so i just took a proper shower and cleaned up a bit. did some laundry..so now i finally have some clean clothes! and cooked my spaghetti. like i said, it was probably exhaustion. i've been working full days since friday. and the thing about pms is that i get tired out very easily and have weird sleeping patterns. i havent been sleeping properly since last week. mainly taking naps. 5 hour naps. well..at least i'm not so worn out now.
 
i miss cooking. and making new things. i actually like cooking. cause you're making something as you yourself would like it. and you can monitor what you're doing.
 
when i was doing laundry, me and my friend started talking. she's working part time too, and even she finds it such a hassle to feed herself. and there are times when she said she feels so tired she cant be bothered to eat even though she's starving...ME TOO!!  oh man...at least i'm not the only one.
10.01.07 (11:12 pm)   [edit]

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tossed salad and scrambled eggs

i miss watching frasier. the title is from the song that kelsey grammer sings at then end of the show. and he's the guy who does the voice for sideshow bob on the simpsons. remember the crazy guy with the funny hair who wants to kill bart? i couldnt picture a better choice for sideshow bob.
 
i was having a really bad day today and wanted to have a jab at everything from ppl who think they're photogenic but are seriously NOT and NEED TO KNOW THAT as well as the fact that some poses do NOT work for everyone. and maybe, just maybe, you look better with glasses. AND photoshopping your pics to throw the contrast and brightness ridiculously off balance doesnt really work. to people who think friends are disposable...its like ppl's patience. i think i'll let The Great Doctor Perry Cox from Scrubs handle this :
 
“Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartels & James and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now.”
 
why, thank you doctor cox. lets just say i've stopped caring about a certain someone. its a strange decision that came to me. i didnt exactly make it, it just crossed my mind and it was as clear as day. i just dont care anymore. and honestly, i may regret this decision later on, say a few years from now, but honestly, if she's going to treat me the way i've been treated, why should i even want to be friends with her? just so i can be chucked aside again? no thank you. find someone else to do that to.
 
it all started simply enough..with me thinking i dont really care where she moves to next year, to me thinking it might not be so bad if we didnt live together. to the realisation that i dont really care anymore. you want to be a one-man island, go right ahead. apparently you never needed friends to begin with. i dont even know why i ever bothered.
 
and right after i decide i dont care anymore, she asks me to do something together. and says i dont have to be obliged to say yes. geez. what are you, half-heartedly asking people to hang out? what IS that? i mean honestly, what IS that? if you dont really want to, dont even bother. you're just making a fool out of both of us.
 
there's some heavy self-censorship going on here. i know the best way to get this off my chest would be to tell her myself, but hell..what difference is that going to make? if its not going to help her, why the hell should i even try?
 
bottom line is, i just dont care anymore. thanks for all the good times, they were fun while they lasted. i hope you have a good life. i'm out of patience and i dont see why i should care for you anymore. i dont know if its your own arrogance holding you back or some sort of fear, but i've had enough of trying to figure you out. i cant believe you would treat a friend that way. and frankly, is this how you repay my friendship? why should i even bother to want to maintain such a relationship that feels incredibly one sided? why put time and effort into it? what for?
 
i dont know about you but i personally dont enjoy a non-speaking relationship, friendship or otherwise. its a stinking pile of bullshit, thats what it is.
 
i dont care about whatever reason why you treated me the way you did. arrogance, fear, hesitance, being occupied...you dont think i tried to accommodate those ideas and try to be understanding? you should have made the effort as well. if everyone has to come to you to have a conversation with you, thats just plain arrogant. you're old enough to get over being shy. and if you're still not, deal with it. and GET OVER IT! its not like i didnt try to reach out to you. felt like i was talking to a damn wall the whole time. its called RECIPROCITY when it comes to carrying a conversation. its a social skill that may come in handy. learn it. might do you some good.
 
i dont care about why you are the way you are anymore. thats you and its not for me to judge. but when you treat your friend this way, i've had enough. and i dont see why i need to care anymore.
 
and your laugh is damn annoying. that nervous laugh when you dont want to answer a question people ask you. what IS that?
 
you got issues and you need to sort them out and get over them before you start dragging the rest of us down with you.  
10.01.07 (4:55 am)   [edit]

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