who knew that taking care of yourself could be such hard work

it really can be, you know. maybe i'm going through my whiney phase again (that happens quite a lot, dont it). but i mean, think about it. if you're on your own and you have stuff to do on top of your responsibilities, you're very very tired out at the end of the day. my schedule here has pretty much settled into a routine - its just an easy way to keep track of what needs to be done next. they say women are more predictable that way. then again, if you know me, i can get quite predictable.
so what am i trying to say? ok. lets say...like me, you also have a part-time job (that takes up most days of your week) and you're also studying..
  • there's work - enough said. extra money's not just going to turn up in your bank account by itself, you know.
  • there's errands - that meat isnt going to just magic itself into your freezer, you know.
  • there's studies - those grades arent going to just appear on CECIL, you know. and an honors degree doesnt just happen by itself, you know.
  • there's maintenance - the mildew in the shower wont scrub itself away. the rubbish wont get thrown out by itself. the dirt on the floor wont pick itself up. the bedsheet wont change itself. and so on and so forth. the toilet roll wont change itself once its finished, you know
  • there's feeding yourself - that food wont get into your mouth on its own, you know.
  • there's cooking the food to feed yourself - food doesnt get cooked on its own, you know.
  • there's taking care of yourself - your legs dont shave themselves. your eyebrows dont pluck themselves away into a neat line. your hair wont wash itself.
well...there's more that i could add to that. but i think you get my point. its a lot of work taking care of one person. i'm not saying i dont enjoy it, because i can call the shots on what i want to do and how i want to do it..etc etc. its not all that bad. but i just get so tired. i'm working again tomorrow. and tuesday. and wednesday i think. at least i have thursday off. then its friday. and maybe sunday. i'm so glad there are those 2 german backpackers who are helping out. they're SUCH great help. FAAAR better than the one we got last time. and they're nice too. apparently next week there's a couple from brazil who should be helping too, but thats not confirmed yet.
 
so thats just stuff that HAS to be done, at some time or another. no wonder people hire maids and cleaners. there's also the occasional shopping binge (which yesterday costed me about $130) and social events (yay!)
 
oh there was a great offer at foodtown just now, since i had errands to run (they dont run themselves) AAND it was on beer :D its the one i like too. its a local brand that when i had it, i thought "mm this is good beer". AAAAND it costed $15 for a pack of 15. how sweet is that? thats a dollar a bottle. A BOTTLE. alas, i dont have the energy to carry 15 bottles of beer back. or have the place to fit it into my fridge. maybe i'll make them ice-cubes :P and i dont really have anyone to share 15 bottles of beer with. i mean...who?? hunnie? she dont drink beer. sam? he might get handsy. sha? why do i get this feeling that beer is not up her alley? ikram?(who undid my failed room - MANY THANKS) well, i'm not that close to him and i rarely see him around. plus i think we're not allowed to have so much alcohol here :P pablo? uh..naaah. aud? uh...she's never out of her room. i know iain would gladly help me finish 15 beers. and for only $15? lets just get another 15 then we can both have our own packs. BUT. iain is a gazillion miles away on another island where beer dont cost $15 for 15.
 
$15 for 15!!
 
oh yes. the cleaning power of JIFF ("In South Africa, we call this Handy Andy" - Lillian) Handy Andy sounds like a very touchy person. handsy. it cleans everything to a gleam. its AMAZING. i mean, it gets out stubborn mildew that looks greyish water streaks on tiles or shower walls. and porcelain sinks. and etc. so. when in doubt, use JIFF :) stubborn stains out in a jiff (i came up with that on my own. cheesey? OOH yea)
 
the swelling on my bruised hand has gone down. it still hurts, and so does a spot on my arm. but its not as bad as it was yesterday. its worse.
 
AND i have started to wear sunblock. i've found this great one by neutrogena and its SPF 70. you can use it on your face and body PLUS its non-greasy. awesome, no?
 
there's a jacket i saw yesterday that i want. its $50 (which is not bad) and its black with patterns on it. AND its windproof and waterproof. AND i like the cutting. AND its preeeeeetty. maybe by the end of this week. of course i need a new jacket. my leather one cant be used if it rains. my camy one is too hot (yea, i guess its a winter jacket) my brown one is NOT waterproof, so YES i need a new jacket. spring it may be, and daylight savings have begun, but its still windy here. oh its been getting so warm at night i wake up with my socks off. i dont know how they end up on the floor but i think i must've taken them off when i sleep. and i've thrown the blankets off. dont ask me why but regardless of how warm it is, i always sleep with something covering my body. LIKE A BLANKET. so i pulled it back on and woke up sweating. how am i going to cope in malaysia?
 
thanks for tuning in to my mundane life, now i suggest you go get your own.
09.29.07 (7:22 pm)   [edit]

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oh my good GOD

its saturday and surprisingly, work wasnt all that bad today. those two girls who were helping me really..well, helped. and i finished everything by 1. not bad eh? and then i wandered around town and did a little bit of shopping. obviously for stuff that i dont really need. like new tops. and new slippers. and sunblock (ok, that one i need). pretty fun.
 
there was some protest in queen street today, but by the time the protesters came around where i was, i was already heading back. and i didnt feel like staying to find out what they were shouting about.
 
i'm very pleased with the nonsense i bought. they were on sale anyways and i figured, i deserve it after working so hard for the flight tickets.
 
apparently my room has failed the inspection. and it wasnt my bedroom that failed it. it was the kitchenette. ok, i kept the plates and bowls, so it must be the food. BUT ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT!!! damn you ikram. you're officially bitchkram in my books now.
 
OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD: i banged my hand and arm at work today. the part on my arm where it hurts is not so bad, but the one on my hand, is a big OUCH. on its own, its not so bad. but when i need to grip things like carry stuff or move stuff...then it hurts. its actually at that spot between the thumb and index finger. i think the hurt is because i got hit right between where muscles meet. thats why gripping things hurt. and that would explain why its still swollen, though it happened over 3 hours ago. i cant type very properly either. damn..
 
apparently daylight savings starts/ends today, i dont remember which. i think we'll be moving the clocks forward an hour. we'll be 5 hours ahead of you all at home.
 
i'm so glad winter is over. i cannot stand drab winter fashion. its boring and its depressing seeing everyone wearing dark colours. its like something terrible happened. WINTER'S OVER!!! 
09.28.07 (8:50 pm)   [edit]

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spot of tea?

so the essay is FINALLY done, and lets see how it goes second time around.
 
its going to be a long LONG weekend. i'm working from friday right up till monday. oh GOD. i cant imagine it.
 
the allowance came in today, hurrah! paid rent immediately. just so i dont have to worry about owing them money. like i did last time. man that was painful.
 
so now that the essay is done, i'm going to watch some episode of something online and enjoy my blackberry tea. it smells so good!
 
i have a recipe in my head now for ginger chicken noodles. i'll let you know how it goes if i get round to it :P 
09.27.07 (7:20 am)   [edit]

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alarm bells

there are times when you dont really have proof of why you feel suspicious, like a deal thats too good to be true thats being pitched to you over the phone, and all they need is your credit card details. it just sounds funny..something's just not right there. my guess is that you feel that you dont know all you're supposed to know. and when knowledge is power, and you are being rendered helpless, the alarm bells in your head go off and that feeling in your gut kicks in. also cause your questions and concerns are not being addressed properly.
 
same thing kinda happens with people, dont it. sometimes you just feel that something isnt right. now i KNOW i sound vague as hell here, but bear with me. i'll try to be as general as possible so i wont be putting anyone in the spotlight. and i know thats the last thing i should be doing.
 
call it being a concerned friend. it dont help that i'm not exactly the only one.
 
i think i'll end here before i mouth off something i shouldnt.  
 
09.26.07 (6:22 am)   [edit]

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Shake well before use!

so sayeth the great instruction on my deodorant.
 
a few things are on my mind today...nothing of great importance, but its just been bugging me.
 
BUT I TRIED SO HARD! (sad face)
if you know me, and you know how i feel about my studies, you'll know that most times i just half-ass things. like assignments. essays. exams. and i do well! the thing is i always know i could have put more effort into it, but i do well when i half-ass things, and when i DO bother to put in effort and really feel passionate (well, as much as i can) about what i'm studying and i enjoy it, i dont do well!
 
for example:
  • recently in my educ 113 course i've been just turning up for tutorial tests with very litle knowledge, and i'm doin well. scoring 7/10, 8/10 and even 9/10 once! bloody hell..
  • eng 111 - i like what i'm reading, and i tried very hard with the essay, and i got a B-...wtf?!
  • AS first time round...i tried very hard for sociology and lit, couldnt care much about maths (well..i never liked it anyways, and i'm so glad i dont do anything mathematical anymore..besides counting money and interest rates and taxes) and i was terrible!
  • second time round with AS and eventually A2 - i hated what i studied to a certain extent, and i did the best out of my batch.
i'm not trying to brag here, because i know there are people out there who put in way more effort than i do in their studies and dont do as well..what i'm trying to say is that if i have good results in my studies, i want to be able to say that i put a lot of effort into it. rather than going "oh yea...i kinda just half assed it"..
 
maybe its cause i'm so accustomed to thinking and writing for education papers and so on that its like second nature to me. if you need tips for doing well in an a-level sociology paper i can tell you how :P  
 
  1. you MUST know your important names very well, and inside out. in the exam they dont seem to be bothered by dates of research, but you must remember WHO did WHAT and WHY This is important, and you MUST EVALUATE IT. plus, you MUST be able to retrieve this information quickly in your head, cause you dont have much time to plan in an exam.
  2. you must know how to manipulate one theory/research to answer different types of questions. how are you going to use it? is it as a supporting point? if it is you need to be able to show a very strong link to your point and show the connection to the question (choose your words very carefully). if it is as a contrast (eg: this is not like A because this is C and is like this therefore A is....) then be very very concise.
  3. PRACTICE. do lots of past year papers (overprescribed advice but it works). another way of practice, and this is particularly useful for the 3 hour A2 paper. time practice. get an A2 paper and within 5 mins, plan out an essay for a question. this will be particularly useful for time management too. you need to pressure yourself to do well. 
  4. STRATEGY.  spend more time and effort into the questions  with heavier weightage, because obviously, these have more points.
    dont dilly-dally on questions that are worth 9 marks, when you could be spending more time and effort for a question worth 16 marks. its so simple and straightforward, but its so easy get carried away and forget the time. EYES ON THE CLOCK!
  5. DONT STOP WRITING. if you get stuck on one question, or are not sure how to continue elaborating, finish your last sentence, or word if you cant finish your sentence. leave a few pages and move on to the next question you know how to tackle. the exam booklet is huge, so dont worry if you take up so many pages. if examples or points come up to you and can support your argument, WRITE IT DOWN! its no loss if you do. BUT show a very coherent and clear link. thats the most important thing
  6. GOOD HANDWRITING. i know its hard when you have to write so much and your shoulder feels like its getting so stiff it hurts and your fingers feel numb. TOUGHEN UP if you want an A so bad.
  7. also, if you do well in your AS, (eg, all A's in your papers) you're pretty much ok for A2.
if you're going to do your a-levels and have read all your material and know it inside out, and know how to answer questions, you'll be fine.
 
why the hell am i writing about that?? geez...well, i hope it'll help people out there. also, teachers and their commitment to your success have to be commended.
 
i wanted to write about something else too but i forgot what now.
 
oh yes, tertiary education
 
Tertiary Education
now that i look at tertiary education in malaysia i feel really lucky that im here in auckland. even though its not a course i would have ever chosen to do, top uni in nz or otherwise, the teaching staff here is very committed, resources aplenty etc etc. of course i know that as an international student, i'm worth a LOT of money here, scholarship some more.
 
its just sad how some people back home who have tremendous potential enroll in local uni's, private or public, and may not get the quality education they invested in.
 
it doesnt help that there's that quota system in public uni's in msia.
 
i dont know how valid the argument is regarding the poor quality of spoken english among uni students at home.
 
i dont know how marketable they are on graduation. i remember seeing an employment fair for graduates in seremban once. and there were so many..*ahem* people there. many of whom seem to be wearing tudungs. hell, its seremban ok? i dont know if that was reflective of the situation in the entire nation.
 
the name university of auckland kinda sells itself. degree in? education (roll eyes) still...auckland uni.
 
 i really hope rachel gets to go to scotland to study. i know she really wants to and i know she has the potential to do well there.
 
its a pity malaysia doesnt have space or resources to develop some of these really capable individuals. i mean its great that people want a tertiary education, if only to get a job. but at the same time, we're devaluing education by churning out graduates like this.  
 
also education in malaysia is very political. knowledge is extremely political. who are we keeping out and letting in? etc etc...
 
damn all this ranting. maybe i should stop adding cinnamon in my coffee... 
09.25.07 (8:06 pm)   [edit]

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you can tell everybody this is your song

i skipped class today so i could work. just didnt feel like going to class, which is a problem since i'll be having a tutorial test tomorrow on what the lecture today was about. oh well. extra $20 in my pocket :D
 
i heard from an old friend today, which was a big surprise since i havent heard from her in over a year. plus i was asleep at the time, thinking WHO would message me at this time?? apparently she had a dream about me and that i was doing really well and i'm happy and such. i guess i'm happier than i was at this time last year, but i could be happier too. i'm just ok.
 
i think i'm working BOTH saturday AND sunday this coming weekend. oh boy. i guess wednesday is the only break i have. man, that means i cant go to the farmer's market on saturday morning. i feel quite bad knowing that i'm leaving the job by the end of october/early november. mainly because i know they'll have more to do, and it becomes such a pain to have to find new people. i'm making it a point to get something nice for lillian before i go. maybe make that plum/peach thingy since they should be in season by then..and would hopefully be cheaper. plus i dont know if she likes chocolates or has any allergies or stuff. plus those plum thingies are cheaper :P AND i can keep some for myself.
 
i cant wait for this month to finally be over and done with.  
09.25.07 (3:14 am)   [edit]

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i want a dog

of all the things i should be doing right now, blogging is last on the list of priorities. i dont know why but i keep stalling when it comes to writing that essay. maybe cause i put so much thought into it the first time round, and now that i have to rewrite it, it becomes such a dread. ugh...kinda like AS all over again. i remember the love-hate relationship with my studies at that time. its a good thing it turned out all right i guess. well, considering that i'm now in nz..i suppose it turned out all right. i still think its a pity i never wanted to do education in the first place.
 
chicane's stoned in love is pretty good. give it a listen. i think its tom jones on the vocals.
 
i want a dog. or two. maybe its cause of the heavy doses of frasier recently. eddie's a cute dog. and very active. damn i want a dog. if you're not a dog person, i can make you one. oh yes. you know i can.
 
sitting in front of the com like this, i hate how my shoulders can stiffen up so badly. it can ache and my fingers can go numb after a while. as does my butt from sitting down so long. oh GOD.
 
 
09.24.07 (3:16 am)   [edit]

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come on try a little

some people tend not to be very adventurous with their food. they dont really like to try new things (and are often very hesitant to) and usually stick to very safe choices too. some are adamant about not trying anything new, but there are others who need a little coaxing. other people can just wallop down anything you feed them. i like to think i can wallop down anything, and most times this tends to be true, especially if i'm hungry. but there are some things i do not eat at all. like sago worms. and that funny river snail (cause i dont know how to suck it out of its shell)
 
anyhoo, i helped hunnie cook her mussels last night and it turned out amazingly good. and i whipped the eggwhites for the plum thingy that turned out real good too.
 
cooking can be real fun cause you can see what you're dealing with and most times its just guess work :P
 
of course, some of it can turn out to be yucky. like this one thing i made once. eeeuugh.
 
my weekend was cut short cause i had to work today. i do NOT like having to work on the weekend. i think the best thing about working today was the fact that they were shooting a commercial for some delivery service (one guy in grey kept running again and again and again in the same direction in each take carrying a box). well, it was shot in fort street in auckland CBD. no big deal. but they were at it before i arrived and after i left. plus it was raining towards the afternoon, so i cant imagine doing what they do.
 
i hate having to do assignments. ugh.  
09.23.07 (12:17 am)   [edit]

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happy, dancey mooseek

i think i'm starting to spell mooseek automatically as mooseek...oh iain. why you warp my mind so?
 
i'm so glad i widened the scope of mooseek in my playlist, to include happy, dancey mooseek. i'm not mad at anything or have anything to complain about, i'm just quite tired out of my mind. plus lillian (the lady i work with) said she may call me tonight if they cant find anyone to come in tomorrow to help clean the hostel. damn, there goes my saturday. i'm already covering for someone this sunday. that much i'm ok with. but my saturday too?
 
well, what happened is this: one of the ladies at work got another job. she's now an accountant. i think she was between jobs when she was at fat camel. congrats to her, sucks to be us. i dont mind the extra hours but i really dont know how i'm going to fit all my activities around it. its not like i do much at home anyways, i kinda just chat with people and watch stuff on youtube or veoh..or poke people on facebook. i was counting on finishing my eng 111 essay this weekend. i think i still can do it, but its just a lot more inconvenient now. oh well...if i were on holiday, i wont mind putting in the extra hours for some extra cash, but its real tricky now that there's class. i know this wednesday its just lillian and sophia (i think thats her name)..i feel so bad, but i have tutorial tests on wednesdays.
 
anyhoo...i went to lush just now to stock up on my facewash and i got free samples of toner, moisturiser and a mask. i really like the saleslady who helped me at lush. she's got so many piercings (that i can see) but she's really nice and she has really good skin. plus she knows a lot about cosmetics and skincare. i say that freely because YES, I THINK ROSE HIP OIL HELPS SCARS TOO and I KNOW CHAMOMILE IS REALLY GOOD and also KAOLIN IS SOO GOOD FOR OILY SKIN. basically what she says about these ingredients they use tallies with my knowledge of cosmetics and skincare. and she's not afraid to say that "oh we dont have something that does exactly that, but i think its more worth your money if you head down to the pharmacy and get such and such a product because it contains pure rose hip oil...." you get my point. she's always been really helpful, even the last time i was there. and she gave me free samples! yay!
 
went to the travel agent just now and YES, they can help me with the jb-kuching flight. sweet eh? i'm hoping i dont have to go to work tomorrow so i can pop over to the travel agent and pay the deposit. i know after i asked about the flight they said they could hold it only for 24 hours, and i said "i cant afford it right now" so i said thank you and walked out, then plans began to form in my head..maybe borrow some cash from people and so on..so i walked back to railway, thinking how i was going to pull it off. then i circled the block again muttering under my breath as to WHY DIDNT I ASK HOW LONG I COULD TAKE TO FINISH PAYING IT and WHAT TIME THE FLIGHTS WERE...so i made ONE HUGE circle back to the travel agent. and they said i could put a deposit of $100 on it (ok, i can afford that much) and also i have till november to finish paying it off. is sweet no? 
 
the travel agent was really nice..compared to the slightly balding guy who tried to help me out last time...talked a little too fast, even for a kiwi.
 
i dont know if i have a weekend this weekend.oh well. at least if i were to work, i'd have extra money.
 
oh and our BIG BOSS came yesterday to do a somewhat random check on the hostel, see if we're doing things right. and he said...we did a very good job. and that he never expected the hostel to look that clean.
 
why, thank you. i do work my ass off there when i come in, you know.  except times when i'm soo tired and lazy i cut corners so bad.....i make a circle :D
 
have a good weekend wherever you are. 
09.20.07 (10:17 pm)   [edit]

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and i'm broke again.

who knew groceries could eat up so much of your money? oh god...this really sucks. i need the money to get the flight from johor to kuching. maybe in a few more weeks. its almost the end of the month, and i'll be getting my allowance again in about a week. which also means more rent to pay. october has about 4 weeks. so i'll use the deposit to pay the last few weeks here.
 
there's still stuff that needs to be settled. besides next year's accommodation. honestly i've stopped caring. i know i should but there's just too much on my mind right now. namely, how am i going to finish 2 essays in these 2 weeks? its not entirely impossible, but i also need to study for the upcoming exams next month. i'm quite left behind with the readings for eng 111. oh GOD, why keats AGAIN?? i got so tired of him studying for the a-levels. the only poems i like from him are ode to melancholy and a few more, i forgot what now. whats the name of the guy who wrote the one about the plums in the icebox that he ate that he knew were being saved for breakfast? i liked that poem :P
 
rachel and i were talking about smoking the other day..well, online anyway. she asked if i would ever take up smoking. (makes it sound like a hobby, eh?) i wouldnt. but i dont have anything against anyone who smokes. its not that i've never tried it, because i have. i just dont want to. mainly because its bad for my skin. i know i sound vain, but its MY SKIN and if i dont take care of it, nobody else will and i have to live with it the rest of my life. plus its something people will see and notice when they see you. i really think skin is something worth taking care of as best as your time and money allows you to. the effort is worth it, because you have to see yourself everyday. you might as well have good skin, ya know? so i dont want to get premature wrinkles around my mouth or anywhere on my face that could be avoided simply by not smoking. i mean, there's already UV aging to deal with. plus cigarettes cost money. its one easy way to cut your budget.
 
another reason is cause i dont want to have an addiction. if you know me, you know that i drink to forget. and its bad, but up to this point, i dont do it anymore. mainly cause i'm broke and i dont want to anymore. i used to have other ways to deal with pressure and whatnot but i've stopped all that too. i dont want to depend on things to make me feel better. because its temporary and its not real. its just a distraction from whatever i'm trying to forget or hide.
 
i guess thats another reason why i got so sick of clubbing. i mean, i like dancing and i really enjoy it. but i'll be kidding myself if i told you that bad music was the only gripe i had about the nightlife. there's smelly, drunk people all around you (well, duh, its a club) and i'm not in the mood to dance with anyone when the crowd gets a lil too rowdy. and touchy. and smelly. ugh. while girls nights out are really fun, i think its a better idea if you can get a few guys in your little feng tao entourage (read: your clubbing crew) i just feel safer that way. if you cant have your boyfriend there lah. cause if he's there, nobody would dare touch you or come near you :D oh the security!! its like your own personal bouncer who dances with you :) and takes care of you. if he doesnt, you better dump his sorry ass cause he's just not worth it. especially if he's eyeing other women. you have my FULL blessing to slap him and stomp on his instep with your gorgeous but pain-inflicting stillettos :P
 
wow, i didnt think i'd blog about all that when i started. guess i'm on a ROLL.
 
oh since we're on the topic of skin (well we were earlier) i realised one of the easiest things you can do to maintain good skin is to wash your face before you sleep. i used to do that and i didnt have so many zits as i do today. so from today onwards, i shall revert to that good habit i used to have and hopefully by the time summer comes round, i'll have better skin :) and i can learn other things to do with photoshop besides erase zits :)
 
if you know how to unblur pictures with photoshop, please let me know. i have some nice pics, but they're blurry.
i'm going to miss some of the friends i've made this year.
 
i'm a lil tired now so i better take a nice hot shower and a nap before tackling one essay. and i gotta stop sleeping in class. i think i fell asleep twice in 2 classes this week, and very nearly fell asleep in tutorial. i really cant help it tho, i can be quite tired when i go to uni, esp after work.  
 
so...goodnight everyone :P 
09.19.07 (7:48 pm)   [edit]

2 Comments

humidity's rising

still with the song game, if you can spot where that line came from, name the song and add on a line and you win a bazillion points! congrats to rachel, winner in the last round, she won a bazillion points :D
 
i'm kinda just stalling my usual internet routine, i'm leaving a certain site last to visit because, well my father has messaged me over fs. AARRGHH!!
 
i finished that vampire book hunnie lent me, and overall, i like the story, but i dont like how it ended. its practically a "they lived happily ever after" ending. not quite what i expected from a vampire novel. what about him biting her and making her an undead too so they can unlive happily ever after? and fight other vampires? and bite cows or whatever they do.
 
i now remember why i stopped making pasta for my meals. i get bored of it so quickly..i mean, i love it, but it gets boring . PAAAARRMESAAAAANN, mmmmm.
 
in other news, i wonder if elianto has opened an outlet in kuching. reason being i need new blush wnen i get back. i like the blushes from elianto as well as their blush brush (try saying that quickly....blush brush, blush brush..) but their makeup is cheap, and its got a great variety and really good range. and its good quality too. i'm quite big on quality cheap makeup because you wont feel so bad when you use so much :P i know there are other brands out there that have light reflecting particles and youth-preserving aqua salts and whatever, but hey, they tend to be pricey.. and when you want to experiment or build your makeup range, and cant afford a lot, elianto's a good choice :D
 
i did surprisingly well in my educ 113 tutorial test last week, which i just got back today. amazingly well, considering i couldnt connect the lecture material with the reading. and i still dont see the big deal about the lecture. whats the big deal? most things people really learn are learnt outside the formal learning environment. yes, we know that already. so why the lecture about that? maybe i should just half-ass my way through this degree, eh?
 
i'm not too keen on that idea. maybe cause i wanna say that i really did put at least SOME effort into studying.
 
toodles. 
09.18.07 (7:03 pm)   [edit]

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"welcome to the real world," she said to me, condescendingly

you'll win a billion points if you can tell me where today's title came from and add on another line :)
 
its the end of the day and i can take off my watch. its been such a great day. fantastic weather during the day, and it was warm enough for me to walk around without my hoodie and wear a skirt, which i havent done the whole of winter cause of the weather. came back, bought some mushrooms and made me some pasta which SHOULD last me the week, had a beer before class (its been so long since i last had a nice, cold beer) and had sushi after class with hunnie. met an old classmate in the quad, talked about flights and so on and came back. its been a nice day all in all. pretty good considering its a monday.
 
work, well, was work. i dont feel like ranting about it today, since i'll be going back there tomorrow. all i have to say for today about work is that sometimes they expect us to do everything there within the 4 hours we work. in that 4 hours, we have JUST enough time to do 2 floors worth of rooms. or the first floor (which is like a living room area thing), second floor dorms and the reception area. and even then, we're rushing. they pay us pretty decently, but if we need more time, we wont get paid for that. so i'm sorry, but the windows werent in the job description and we dont have enough hours for that. if they want us to do more, and do a more thorough job at that, then we need more hours, which i dont think they can afford to pay us for.  
 
i dont know why, but i'm missing iain a little more than usual today. would have been nice to share today with him. just hang out and talk. have a cold beer or two...or five :D
09.17.07 (12:24 am)   [edit]

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my new addiction?

so i have a facebook acount. whoopdeedoo. jump on board the trend wagon. well, its not all that bad, and quite fun too. i'm still quite addicted to figuring out how to edit pics using photoshop. i dont know if its actually possible to unblur pictures..well, you see, i've got some nice pictures but they are quite blurry. i know there's the anti-shake mode that people can use when taking pictures, but the picture quality tends to be grainy and the colours look a little faded. thats my current gripe. i KNOW i should be catching up with my readings and starting on some assignments (and i DONT want to do another manic cramming session like i did last sem, although it worked :P) but i cant seem to bring myself to do it. i'm either too tired, or too....tired.
 
ANYHOO...i've decided i need to get one of those round brushes for my hair. it just makes it easier to blowdry. and i will keep my hair at about this length, maybe add some colour when i go back..and just make it look a little neater. but overall, its not too bad :) yes, yes, vain i know.
 
the detox weekend is going quite well, if i dont count the pizza yesterday (thanks hunnie!) but yea...i think the rule of keeping food at night to a minimum and drinking lots and lots of water helps. i used to be able to drink a LOT of water..like i could go through 1.5 L in about 2 hours. skin was a lot better then. damn i can be vain. :P but i think i really should be doing more to take care of myself.
 
i wanted to say something but i forgot now....and its got nothing to do with my vanity...hmm, i really cant remember. oh well, it wasnt anything much anyways.
 
OH I REMEMBER NOW! and YES! it was a big deal to me...my FATHER has got a FRIENDSTER account. no, its not a good thing and i'll tell you in a moment. he viewed me. OH MAN. my secret life..uncovered. NOOOOOoooo......why in the hell would my dad get a fs account?? there's links to my blog there, and there's a link to my multiply too. OH. MY. GOD!! and pics of me and iain. oh god...i knew i should have made it a private profile.  GOD DAMN! well, i changed it to a private profile already,but you can imagine my shock and horror when i saw y dad had viewed me. apparently he didnt view iain so..i dont know to what extent any damage has been done.
 
well, even if they have seen pics of me and iain, i'm not going to let them do anything to me and him. they can say what they want about church and my education but not this. they are not going to take what i have with him away from me. i'm not going to allow it.
 
defensive mode aside, i think i'm supposed to go to the library now to look for a book. 
 
 
 
09.15.07 (8:47 pm)   [edit]

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medieval dinner @ railway

the dinner was earlier this evening (its now about a quarter to one in the morning) and i have to say, i'm glad i went. it was tons of fun, and the food was awesome. LAAAAAAAAAMB, mmmm. BEEEEEEEEEF, mmmm. CHICKEN, Mmmmm..and of course there was the vegetarian option. but all in all, the people there were great. pictures were taken, some people came up dressed in theme, and even if they didnt they all looked great nontheless. like ronnie. originally wanted to wear a hat with his outfit, but it just looked TOO boyband. pablo won best dressed. and the FOOOOOD. mmm, goooood. i know i ate more than the $10 worth i paid for, and i realy had a great time. pics will be up on my multiply when i gather them all. see, what happened is, i was snapping away, and after my 6th picture the battery started to DIE. GOD DAMN!! so i had to ask to tumpang other people's cameras and that includes hunnie, shaz, ikram, lind say..ash, adiba. well..it might take a little time to get all the pics, but i will eventually.
 
yesterday was hunnie's bday, so happy 20th bday to her :)
 
i have gotten FAT. esp around the middle. OH BOO HOO!! i weigh heavier, but i know not to trust the weighing scale so much cause muscle is heavier than fat and so on. so i think i'll start watching pilates videos online and doing them. 
 
 
 
09.14.07 (7:03 am)   [edit]

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i have a disgusting headache

its been a long day, and i have a terrible throbbing headache. its been one thing after another and the accommodation issue is a hot topic nowadays. great icebreaker among the malaysian crowd "are you going back this summer? have you bought your tickets?" and "so where are you moving to next year?".
 
i dont want to move into another place like railway because it'll be crawling with malaysians. and i've had enough of that at uni and at railway this year..it should be KTM the second, by the amount of malaysians who live here. there's a lot to consider and i dont wanna think about it so much now because of my throbbing temples.
 
what is up with these fugly-ass chicks who think they're god's gift to freakin mankind?? i mean, they're acting all cutesy and whatever and its ANNOYING. ok? its one thing to know you're hot and own it, and act it. but its another thing to have posters on your door claiming you're the hottest thing ever born (i BEG to differ) or put up pics with captions saying shit like "i'm the cutest thing ever". there was a great shirt from pagani last season saying "the cutest thing you've seen all day" and that was a lot of fun because it meant that you OWNED it. know what i mean? i just cant stand it when there are these girls who think they're EEEE!!COMEL!! and talk in squeaky voices and shit like that. ok, maybe i'm venting but i'm just annoyed by them. and now is not a good time to annoy me, look, if you think you're hot or cute or are a smoldering temptress, OWN IT!! you dont have to rub it in people's faces telling them how cute you are because that just reflects on how much you DONT own what you claim to have, and need someone to assure you and gratify how you want to be seen and (now whats that word oprah uses) affrim how you feel about yourself just contradicts whatever image of self assurance you're trying to portray in the first place. its a fucking foot in your fucking mouth thing. OK?
 
rant over, headache subsided, thank you all very much. and to the fugly-ass chicks who have become my target of the day. i thank you all kindly.. 
 
ZE AMPUTATION OF ZE SOCIAL LIFE
I dont get how some people are able to do this. its a tad (ok fine, a LOT) scary to me how it can happen. most likely to happen at the discovery or the gaining of a significant other or a love interest. i know for a fact that i can never do that, and i guess because of that i find it hard to understand, nay, COMPREHEND how some people can do this. i have a few girlfriends who do this, and i know i got so sick of one girl constantly alternating between us (her girlfriends) and her new boyfriend (which seemed to change with the phases of the moon). it got to a point where i just didnt like hanging out with her anymore, and i dont anymore.
 
i dunno. maybe i just feel like i'm an appendage of some sort..you know? kept there till something better comes along to occupy your time and entertain you.
 
maybe its another rant.
 
maybe its been building up, eh? 
09.13.07 (12:22 am)   [edit]

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eleven am

knowing me, i just HAVE to have a say about something going on in malaysia, even if nobody hears it, or it doesnt make much of a difference. and YES, i am fully aware that i am a government sponsored student. and YES i am aware there may be ugly and dire consequences, but like freddy mercury sang...DONT STOP ME NOW.
 
my concern today is about the dog-catching competition that is being held in selayang to rid the place of stray dogs. being the animal loving freak i am (puppies, pandas, little kats and so on and so forth) i find this incredibly appalling. how low can malaysia get??
 
for one, just disposing of these stray animals like they are trash is NOT HUMANE. it is UNETHICAL simply because these are animals that are trying to survive on the streets. they feed off scraps and get involved in fights and may even get rabies or something, yes i do know that it happens. and NO i am not some animal cuddling fanatic even tho i will cuddle the cute ones. i do have reasons for thinking its inhumane. if we have anyone to blame for these stray animals, its ourselves. we are the ones who are not monitoring the situation and not educating people on why its important to neuter and spay their animals. it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to find good homes for these animals if they reproduce because if they do not get provided for, its stray animals galore.
 
i'm all too familiar with stray animals. i took pictures of 2 stray dogs at jalan song and i named one FORREST. because i liked him.
 
is this dog catching competition stemming from a desire to see these "pests" be disposed of, or is it to make them suffer? and at the same time make malaysians look even more like the dumbasses the government can be at times.
 
TO the genius who thought up the dog-murders...YOU SICK FREAK!! YOU SICK SICK FREAK. all the dogs in doggy heaven are going to hope you burn in hell. and so do i.  
 
there are better ways to handle the situation and you choose to take a simplistic way out. YOU SICK FREAK!!
 
09.11.07 (7:16 pm)   [edit]

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lemon and paeroa

L&P...i dont really like it, but after having one can of it, i've decided its not too bad. makes me burp like a MONSTA tho..
 
this is just an excuse to keep me from not studying for the test tomorrow and the other one the day after. i got some of my essays back, and i did really well on one of them (to my pleasant surprise). so much so i even went "WOW" when i got it back. well, it is an issue that i found very interesting, so i'm glad i did well on that.
 
been thinking a lot about going back. already decided how much i want to take home and such.
 
one thing i've realised..i cant really track what i've spent my money on. i know rent ate up a lot of it, but other than that, did i really shop that much and what the hell have i been eating?? i stopped going out at night a few weeks (if not a month or so) back, because i really do want to spend as little as possible. i havent travelled much (which i know i really should be doing) so where the hell did my money go to? my guess is that all the little expenses added up, especially when i'm not keeping a close eye on my spending.
 
and yes, i havent really travelled as much. i know new zealand's a beautiful place and ya da ya da. but i'm not much of a nature person. if you show me a baby panda in dunedin i'd travel there to cuddle it. but if you want me to look at mountains and rivers and trees (OH MY!) it'll all look the same to me after a while. thats what one of my friends said after he came back from a trip to the south island or something. all the pictures showed the same thing. mountains and rivers and trees. as well as one of the millions of sheep here.
i
'm not too much of an outdoor person either. but the only outdoor activity i'd consider here is probably bungeeing.
i really havent done much here in nz. REALLY. probably because i keep thinking "there's 2 years or so left here, i got plenty of time"
we'll see.
 
anyhoo, lemme just slip in a little rant here. there is nothing quite as repulsive as bad smells. i know rachel cant stand things or people that smell bad. but GUYS, HEY! if the girls are staying away from you, MAYBE ITS CAUSE YOU SMELL.
 
i resort to AROMATHERAPY. dont stink up my place. 
09.11.07 (1:33 am)   [edit]

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its a beautiful day

so...all over the world, there are people trying to deal with lots of difficult things. some are trying to overcome prejudice, some are trying to convince/delude themselves, some are hungry, some are poor (like me), and oh yes, global warming.
 
but I shall not concern myself with nay of that. true, i may still be very broke, and i may have to live off frozen food for the next week of so to live. but i will be alright. for i, have received my ticket to singapore today. yes. i have it. along with the luggage tags. and the discount vouchers to be used at the international lounge. and that is why it is SUCH a beautiful day.
 
in fact, its so beautiful, i'm actually contemplating going to class today. i mean why not? its sunny, weather's not too hot nor too cold (which is always a reason to be happy here in auckland), work went ok...and oh yes, craccum's out today :)
 
maybe i'll skip tutorial. :D
 
so yes. its a beautiful day.
 
here's to wishing more sunshine, fresh air and happiness your way. 
09.09.07 (8:45 pm)   [edit]

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anybody else feel stupid here too?

so i've got a few songs in my playlist that i have absolutely no idea what they're singing about. a few meaning...maybe 10. i dont keep count. they're not in english so..i just nod along. kinda feel stupid at times cause i sing along (as best i can) but i doubt i got the words right.
 
its 5 minutes to midnight now...and i'm quite bored out of my skull. sure i could study for that test this thursday, but oh GOD it gets so boring. esp when its theories to do with cognitive processes (GRIT TEETH....)
 
there was a meeting today regarding accommodation for next year. apparently, we're top priority for the university to find accommodation for. well, DUH. since there was a contract, we all have dollar signs flashing above our heads and any complaints from us would just be..well, undesired. on one hand its great that we are so prioritised like this. we'll always be taken care of, and etc etc. on the other hand, it kinda is spoonfeeding and babying us. i dont know whether i like this situation or not.
 
i was talking to one of my friends here and she's adamant about staying in railway. she's been staying here since she got here and intends to do so till she finishes her studies methinks. now if that works for her, that is great. fantastic. but I THINK (and i think a great many things) that for ME, i dont want to be in just one place for the whole time i'm here. it just limits me. and i feel like i didnt really have the chance to get my own place. (MY OWN PLACE!!!)
 
i mean...i dunno. the only thing stopping me from getting uni accommodation (and i wouldnt mind staying in uni accommodation next year, they've got pretty decent places) is the $500 bond. i cant afford that! i just paid for my ticket home. and i cant afford anything this coming week. oh god i hate being this poor.
 
i know that pablo has stayed here for FOUR YEARS...and in the same room too. NOW. what is that like?
 
i dont want to have such a comfort zone that i dont want to venture out of.  
 
ONTO MORE GIRLY NEWS...
 
i like how my shoulders look now :P they're more defined somewhat. yes, yes roll your eyes, i'm vain, thank you. but i think since i started working and have to lift stuff and bend a lot and at times get on all fours..(ugh)
 
i dont like how my hair is growing out. i want to do something with it but i have no idea yet.
 
i should really stop eating all these little treats cause they're taking a toll on my face (OH NO...) a little peanut butter and chocolate on bread, BACLAVA (MMMMM), little snacks, sausage rolls, more processed food, handmade chocolate (MMmmmm)..well. whatever. i'm drinking tons of water and peeing every hour or so and i'm doing a facial mask later.
 
i want to grow my nails out and start using nail polish but i cant keep my nails too long for my job. they tend to tear the gloves easier.  
 
I WANNA DO MY HAIR BUT I'M TOO POOR...
 
leave me be now..i cry in my vain misery. boo hoo 
 
09.09.07 (5:14 am)   [edit]

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bleh

its been a good day so far. went apartment hunting and its so exciting to think that i could have a place that is completely my own. i feel so grown up!
 
queens street is less busy on the weekends than the weekdays, probably since it is a business district as well as a shopping area. maybe thats why its more fun to shop in newmarket. and its been a long long while since i went shopping.
 
the markets here are really interesting to go to. not just because its a place to find cheap stuff, like fruits and random pretty things, but also because its well, there are spots to hang out there. and you can get nice food. for instance...BACLAVA. and just the type i like. mmmmmmmm....AND i got this fantastic chocolate that i just LOVE. i feel oh so GOOD after eating it. how good? well, i'll keep that to myself :P
 
after tomorrow classes start again. it wont really make much of a difference in my schedule since i dont bother going once in a while. a LOT in a while actually. but i think i should start going. regardless of whether i like the class or not. OH GOD.
 
i'm really looking forward to having a place of my own, you know.
 
the one that we looked at today was a HUGE block of apartments. just looking at it made me feel that if i were to walk down the block, i'd find an LRT station. seriously. the place made me think of melati, the place jac used to live in. only way more crowded with smaller apartments. they're really small actually. REALLY SMALL. and my current room now would be bigger than the one i looked at today. the bedrooms looked perfect for a couple tho...i kinda felt a bit..i dunno how to put it. its a strange feeling of missing someone, wanting them there with you so bad, getting excited about having your own place, (IT'LL BE MY OWN PLACE!!), getting a bit bummed that they're not there with you, getting mad at the circumstances that are keeping you apart, but getting so excited about the ideaof having your own place.
 
oh well.
 
there were so many dogs out today. like in aotea square (now i bet if you googled that, my blog'd come up) there was this one dog near the chocolate stall that kept playing fetch with his owners. and he wore a jacket. but before he brought the stick back, he kept chewing on it. till some bits chipped off. and then there was this little ugly bug-eyed dog that sat near a stall...like he was on sale. UGH. get that thing away from me. THEN i went into MADE because they were having a sale, and i wanted to see if the shoes i liked last time were still there (they werent) and lo and behold, a dalmation was standing so still in the doorway of the shop. i thought it was a statue because he kept so still. but when i walked by, i saw him look at me, so i knew it was a real dog. his name was MAXIMUS :D
 
till another time. enjoy your weekend while it lasts. 
09.08.07 (1:57 am)   [edit]

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travel insurance

GOOD NEWS ONE AND ALL. GATHER ROUND...I HAVE BOUGHT THE TICKET, i repeat, I HAVE BOUGHT THE TICKET. :)

next question...travel insurance? hmmm...it is a precaution, and yes it'll help tremendously when or if i lose my belongings the flight gets cancelled, there is political uprising and there is a strike, or just a general strike, I DIE, i get hurt...et cetera et cetera.  oh well. at least the flight is settled.

MORE NEWS ON THE ACCOMMODATION FRONT. apparently this place will be closed next year due to renovation works. so like it or not, planned or not, we all have to move out...i want my ywca :( i was kinda counting on being more on my own, if ya know what i mean, winky-wink. oh well, we'll have to see how that one goes. 

now that the flight is settled, i have exactly $52.37 in my account. YES that is very little, YES i cant wait to move out and YES i cant wait to save money. oh well, i'll be ok. just have to wait for this week's salary to come in next week.

BAD NEWS ANYONE? the kiwi dollar is dropping. so i may not have as much money as i thought i might have when i go back...hmmm. i remember one time they were buying malaysian ringgit at 3.01 here, and now it's gone down to 2.6..come on kiwi dollar. come on.

here's a shoutout to rachel hoping her visa comes through. ALL THE BEST RACHEL, FINGERS CROSSED!!! HUGS :) 

weekend's here, and this week has just flown by. routine really does kick in after a while. i was really looking forward to the weekend actually. might wanna look at that aotea square market tomorrow and see if they still sell that yummy bread there.

classes start again next week. oh no, i havent read Gulliver's travels OR anything for the test. oh well. 

i asked a shop here about how much prescription lenses would cost me...and they start at $160 a pair for astigmatism. someone told me this thing would go down as i get older, but i dont see anything yet. HOW MUCH OLDER DO I HAVE TO BE? my wisdom tooth is growing out. but the shop lady was real nice and she said "yeah, just pop in for an eye exam and we'll see. that'd usually cost about $250". why dont i just pay my rent and be happy :P

i'm going to miss being able to decide so many things on my own when i go back and have to live with my parents. have to tell them where i'm going...(typical answer is "OUT...?") with whom ("people") doing ("stuff")...oh god. and then there's church to go to too. and people in church who just wanna drag me along to whatever meeting i dont feel like going to. thats the thing about church people. if you go once, just for courtesy (since they practically bug you about it) and hope that it'll be enough to keep them quiet, you are so wrong. they "encourage" you to go along for more meetings (read: HARASS, and btw those activities eat into time i could spend doing more fun things with my bf or friends..so :P) and SPAM you (YES THEY SPAMMED ME) with meeting updates and what not..i just emailed them all back and said "its very nice and all to hear from you back home, but could you take me off the mailing list?" yes, yes..my fault for giving my email add out, should've given them my uni email which i never check but really should. it might have been a tad mean and a bit startling to them, but i was just so sick of getting emails about "meeting this friday"...and so on. i'm not there to begin with, and filling up my inbox with stuff like that is NOT going to get me to go to your meetings when i am. there. and NO, it is not as fun as you think sitting around talking about what i think the bible said because there are some questions you cannot answer and when that happens, CRY HERESY!! light your torches and bring out the pitchforks because its DEMON HUNTING TIME!! honestly, (and i know i sound so jaded and atheistic here) dont you people get tired of that? folk devils and moral panics, people. its folk devils and moral panics.

if religion works for you, then whoopdeedoo. praise God or the many gods. all's good for you. but just because it works for you doesnt mean you have to impose it on other people (even if your religion says so. if you have a brain, use it to reason out some social skills..mmkay?) in any manner.

 

09.06.07 (10:30 pm)   [edit]

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change can be good right?

so now i'm considering accommodation for next year..more things are getting crossed off the TO DO LIST. flight tickets should be settled by next week. at least to singapore. but hey, one thing at a time right?
 
i'm a little wary about moving out, primarily because i really like this place. i made friends here and i actually have come to feel like this place is home. sort of like a place of my own, till i can actually get a place for myself when i start to work. its great. its a great place to start out your first year because people are friendly here (well, there are a few somewhat snooty ones who are aloof but overall people are nice), the RA's are approachable, the staff are friendly and this place is very well maintained. plus they have really fun activities organised here. of course, its completely up to you to participate, but if you do, its really fun..
 
like the Easter egg hunt. that was so much fun. i had JUST woke up and hunnie dragged me out of bed (yes, i get up at the crack of noon) and we started running up and down the place, getting down on all fours, climbing on stuff, shaking the little trees and what not to find little eggs. my team merged with other little teams to form one super shocolate egg hunting team, but we lost . OH WELL. it was all good. and chocolate eggs are always good..
 
and lazy sunday. i know it wasnt much of an activity, but it was really cool. come in your pj's and hang around with other people watching tv series. i think that ignited my love for SKRAAAAABS :) that was fun. apparently ronnie turned up in a robe (well...it is ronnie) and sam came in his pj's. ME TOO! bed socks and oversized shirt and yellow hoodie and shorts. oh so comfy. and it just felt so homely.
 
there was that one bar night, but i didnt feel like drinking, but it was alright.
 
the numerous free bbq's. the free pizzas. the karaoke. the wine and cheese. the harassing ikram. the bitching with ronnie. that attempt to get free tickets to watch RHCP. talking to pablo in the kitchen. eating nim's food cause she cooks sooo good. last sem's formal dinner. late night cooking.
 
i'm going to miss this place. maybe its a good thing me moving out since so many people i associate with this place will be gone next year. i know i could make more new friends, but...i dunno. just people moving in and out of your life. kinda sad. i felt it last sem with people leaving. and it wont be the same next year. so maybe its a good time to move out eh.
 
plus it'd be something new.
 
anyhow, i cant afford this place. it i move out i probably get to save about $200 a month, which is a lot of money. and now considering that i can live with just about $150 a month, i'd save tons of money. i just hope there's no $500 bond deposit thing. apparently that goes into the last two weeks of rent, meaning my november rent is paid for. sweet eh.  
 
i'm a bit wary moving out to places that are not owned by the university. simply because you could get really lousy accommodation. and its not conducive to study. i mean the ywca sounds good..but i think it'd be better choice if i were a backpacker.
 
i personally think i'm getting ripped off where i live, happy as i am living here. i mean, my room is pretty small. and i'm paying $192.50 a week. i know its inclusive of heating, water and gas. but internet is $7 a week. and i have to pay that in a lump sum or i have to add on an extra administration fee if i do the weekly thing. i just got charged $10 in this week's invoice for something that i thought i paid in the first month i came here. of course foodtown is nearby and so's that taiping supermarket thing. so thats the convenience factor...
 
if i move out i have to get my own kitchen utensils...out of all my utensils, only the non-stick frying pan and pyrex casserole tray is mine. and the fruit knife. and a chopping board. and i have enough toilet paper to last me...a few good months. i have my own linen. cant stand the idea of using provided linen. it just feels so gross. UGH. hmm, i should wash my blankets.
 
i'll really miss this place. guess i should make the most of my time here eh. take pictures MANY MANY. and change my application details for next year.
 
i hope i dont get any strange flatmates. neurotic, obsessive, fussy flatmates...ugh. i mean, i know how people may get along well in the start but as the year progresses, separate schedules and agendas tend to keep you to yourself...i hope i get nice flatmates. tolerant ones who have a reasonable standard of hygiene. and KNOCKS before entering and gives me my SPACE. if you know me well, you know how much i like my space.
 
oh and i've decided, since i'd probably never get round to selling off my clothes, i just might give them off to the salvation army or something. at least someone else gets to use them. i mean there's nothing wrong with them. some have shrunk (note to self: when it says DO NOT TUMBLE DRY, you DO NOT TUMBLE DRY), some i just dont wear, some are too big (like my shoes)...but all in all they're in good condition. but its up to you if you wanna wear a hot pink shrunken shirt that says in bright pink letters I FEEL A SIN COMING ON. dont ask what i was thinking when i bought it. all i know's that it was $7 and i thought "OOOO cheap!!" cheap. YEAH. there's a few sweaters i didnt end up wearing. a scarf i dont like.
 
and god knows how i'm supposed to get rid of my red jacket. i thought it was so cool when i bought it, and yeah it looks great. put on some boots and rock that look, ya know? but then i saw this one auntie lady in parnell wearing something like it and that just KILLED the jacket. dont get me wrong, its still great. now how am i supposed to store it when i go home?? maybe i wear it back. maybe not. maybe. maybe not.
 
i cant wait to go home. i'm so excited about seeing iain again. and all the rest of the people who happen to live there :P rachel might not be there, but thats ok. maybe if i move out next year i can save up enough money to go visit her sometime :) that'd be sweet.
 
oh yes, since we're on the topic of visiting and travelling, i managed to get a cheaper offer from a rival travel agency (GOD i love that price beat guarantee). basically how it works is they have this guarantee that they'll find the lowest price possible on the dates you wanna travel. awesome no? and yeah i got a cheaper price. by about $20. which is not much, i know. but i think i'm sticking to the first flight. $1227 to singapore is a great deal. THANK YOU ISIC and STA TRAVEL. student discounts GALORE! i know some people say there's no point getting the ISIC card, and that you might not end up using it. but if there are offers where you can save a LOT of money, you'd be kicking yourself for not getting that card. besides, you get a $50 goodie bag when you do register. so its not so bad...except some of the stuff they give out i cant use...like a copy of FHM magazine...condoms...but there's food and such. coupons for bus passes and what not.
 
i'm really looking forward to closing up this year. i know i havent done much but hey, i got 2 and a half more years here. i got plenty of time to explore the north and south island and bungee off the skytower (ITS THE HIGHEST JUMP IN NZ!!) plenty of time. absolutely plenty.
 
and now, like my love told me, we just take things one at a time :) 
09.05.07 (7:27 am)   [edit]

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take two capsules when necessary

quite a few things have been worrying me. and they're not going away that soon. well, some may be going away soon..but its just mentally draining.
 
1. FLIGHT TICKETS
i've located a cheap flight to singapore for $1227 which is really cheap compared to other offers now. problem with that is i have to pay for it by this friday. now, provided my salary comes in by this friday, i can afford it no problem. that also means not having enough spending money for the next week. but considering that my freezer is stocked nicely and i have food all over my room, i should be ok.
 
then comes the flight from singapore to kuching, which i will sort out later on when i have the money.
 
2. SUMMER STORAGE
my friend has located this place that offers good rates for summer storage. and judging by how little stuff i have (dont ask what i spend my money on cause i dont have any idea either-mostly BILLS if you ask me. like FOOD, RENT, PHONE, INTERNET, BOOKS, MORE RENT, more FOOD) thats another $100 i guess.
 
3. 2008 ACCOMMODATION
there's a $75 application fee (i suppose that goes to paying the clerks that process our application) and another $500 bond fee. i cant afford $500. i'm a student that gets $1260 a month. and my rent each week is almost $200. and i dont know if mara is going to pay for that or not. 
 
if they're not, then i guess there's no choice BUT to move out.
 
4. THAT DAMN FRIDGE
so i talked to pablo about it in the kitchen just now, and he said something like that happened a few years ago as well, and that $200 should cover it. well, for now i'm not reporting it since i cant bloody afford anything.
 
5. QUIZ NEXT WEEK
there's an educ 111 quiz next thursday and i havent had time or the energy to study for that. its a multiple choice question test. so...when in doubt, or just not knowing anything, make educated guesses eh.
 
it just feels like all this stuff i have to do is one endless list. A LIST. even showering has become a list and sometimes i forget if i've washed my hair or not cause i'm thinking about what needs to be done after the shower.
 
if mara were to increase our allowance by a mere $40 or $50 that'd already be awesome.
 
do the math, man.
 
this fucking sucks.
 
09.03.07 (4:52 am)   [edit]

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no more eyebags :)

wow... i really didnt do as much as i thought i would this weekend, but it was a much needed break. after sleeping for over 12 hours (i can go longer actually) for two consecutive days, my eyebags are GONE! yay..note to self: must do eyebrows.

i used to do them quite regularly, but i really havent been taking care of myself as well as i used to. maybe its cause i'm tired or lazy or both,  but i've got to find some time for myself. give me some ME time. now if i had a bathtub to soak away my cares on a weekend, that'd just be sweet as..oh yes it would.

i think i should learn it from now. and practice it. FIND SOME TIME AND WAYS TO DO LITTLE THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. i mean, if i dont, i'll just look so dishevelled, the room gets all messy, i'm not eating properly..etc etc. pardon me if i sound vain, but if i dont take care of myself, who else will?

to a certain degree, i kinda hate my life right now.

and on another note, i dont think i'm really living it here in auckland. i mean, most times when i look at the time, i automatically just deduct 4 hours so i know what time it is back home. dont get me wrong, its a great place. people are nice too. and there's plenty to do. but my mind is just not here most of the time. its a strange situation to be in.

here's another thing. i dont know how well i'll adapt to living with my parents again when i go back at the end of the year. i mean..i'm really not looking forward to that.   

09.01.07 (10:05 pm)   [edit]

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