eagels and otters and monkeys - OH MY!

its been a good day, although i am a bit tired. and its kinda hard to write a blog entry now that there are students using this same room to practice some singing performance. the singing's pretty good actually, but i'm just wondering about leaving them completely on their own to manage this. and without musical instruments?

anyways, me and aud went out. and we went to dataran lang - eagle's square. its near the jetty, so its overlooking the beach. we saw otters and when we looked up we saw an eagle soaring overhead (now THATS how you use the word) and earlier in the day, we saw a monkey near the apartments. how fun! and yes, there is the average domestic cat and dog here and there.

since the jetty overlooks the sea, we decided to watch the sunset because we were so free. besides, i've never watched a sunset before, and neither has aud. so around 7 something, we went to get a spot just before the sunset. and yes, it was beautiful but it happened a little too fast. it went from "wow, that's pretty" to "its so peaceful" to "oh look, its turning really red" to "look, the sun's getting bigger" to "hey, its sinking pretty fast" to "now its behind the ship" to "and now its gone" and finally "that's it??"

i havent really packed for tomorrow, but i dont really care.

i bought a new dress :)

i'm going to miss langkawi. its a really nice place.

and there's another thing to add to the list of things i wanna do besides join the amazing race (if given the chance), live on an island for about a month (as in langkawi) and go on a cruise.

i wanna visit south america. havent decided which part(s) yet. it'd be fun tho.

i dont know where this sense of wanting to explore came from but i'm quite excited about the things i want to do.

its a huge world with lots of new things to see and do. and i'm young. i wanna see it all.

at least the fun, safe parts anyway.

 

01.18.07 (6:32 am)   [edit]

3 Comments

we're done!

its the last day in langkawi for now. tomorrow we move to perlis. everyone's in a good mood and despite the politics in this class, everyone is getting along and thats really nice once in a while.

i mean, its not like we dont have any good times together. we have fun, but that happens when we're able to put aside whatever beef we have with each other, overlook each other's faults and just get along. truth be told, its not that hard to do. but i think there are times when we see each other a bit too much and these little faults appear so huge and impossible to get over.

ah what a wonderful day!

well since we're on the topic of people in my class...lets carry on with that.

some of the girls like holding each other's hands. i dont know why, and it boggles my mind to figure out why. but its just weird. i mean we're 20/21 this year, and we're still holding hands? is it just me or is this actually strange? i still cant figure it out.

there are some people who dont like working with people whom they feel inferior to. its a good opportunity to progress by learning from your peers, but maybe it just feels competitive to them.

there are some i get along really well with and whom i look up to tremendously.

there are others i'm kinda scared of.

and what do they think of me?

most probably that i'm weird. cause i can be pretty random. and in an environment where i can feel suppressed, depressed, or am in full out zombie-mode, the randomness becomes increasingly random. and weird at each occasion it rears its head.

what a phrase : rears its head.

REARS its head.

i'm quite happy today.

and if this is the last entry for a few weeks, then its a good note for a last post. for 2 weeks. cause maybe the new place in perlis doesnt have internet connection. i mean you never know, right? its so far up north, i might as well visit thailand.

but for now i'm quite happy. we're going out later, yay :)

there was a monkey/baboon incident yesterday evening. me and aud went walking around the school campus towards the sports fields. and in a distance i saw small black creatures skulking around on the road. i thought they were cats at first, cause they were quite small. but upon walking closer, lo and behold, i realise they're MONKEYS.

long story short, we ended up walking away from there really fast.

REALLY fast.

we would've ran, but we just had dinner.

i dont know if they were monkeys or baboons. in my mind they were baboons but logic told me "eh, do we actually have baboons in langkawi?"

and when i told this story to a friend, she said monkeys actually can attack humans. my guess is that they're territorial too.

what if they had rabies and attacked me?

oh no.

i have to get a rabies shot.

would i recover in time for auckland :P

speaking of which, some of the girls are actually quite scared of the idea of leaving. cause it'd be the first time they're on their own - completely on their own. no family close by.

well, its time to grow up then.

i go find something trivial to do and read on the net.

and you have a nice day too :)

01.17.07 (8:24 pm)   [edit]

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i finished my work and now i'm bored

By this review, we whave already covered Teacher Talk, The Textbook, Assessment and Teaching Resources. I, myself, am quite surprised, and slightly alarmed after reading my journal entries and have noted several changes in myself, especially an openness to embrace teaching, which to some extent, terrifies me.

Most notably, I am still concerned about students being so focused on exams that their learning attitude is marred by caring more on how to answer exam questions than the learning process. I understand that exams and assessments are a necessary gauge of progress, but that's not all learning is limited to. Plus it provides very fertile ground for cheating if students feel pressured to do well "by hook or by crook". An exam grade, after all, is neither a measure of a student's worth nor does it define who they are. Rather, it is merely an account of time spent in the class, which i have taken to mean is a measure of whether the students have gained anything new for themselves in the classroom. Exams and exam results matter, yes, but once again, learning is much more than that. So I thought about it, and concluded that one way to counter the student's exam-centric attitude is through the teaching style. By allowing students to see for themselves that they do not need to be exam-obsessed and still be able to learn, I hope to change their view and attitude towards learning; perhaps by not depending entirely on the textbook and including other resources in teaching - whic brings me to the main issue that showed me something exciting about the world of teaching.

The world is a wealth of resources for teachers. Almost anything can be a teaching tool. Its just a matter of how you use what you choose. Its these little extras with which the teacher brings to life the subject. It also reflects how much s/he cares, since it really requires extra effort as well as provide a personal touch. I hate to make sweeping statements, but there it is. It is essential that teachers choose the right props for their lessons since this affects how the students receive the message the teacher is trying to convey. I see this style of teaching as telling the students something new rather than droning on and on in front of them. This also means being creative: looking at the world differently, thinking on your toes, being prepared for just about anything and quite possibly prompting a paradigm shift in learning attitudes. Suddenly teaching seems almost dangerous. After all, we are talking about moulding young minds here.

Now, before i go off with my new zest for teaching, albeit my idealism and naivete, I still have to learn to juggle and balance planning lessons, marking students work, meeting curriculum requirements, producing good results on top of maintaining my relationship with the students while inculcating a more positive learning attitude towards learning not forgetting to make time for myself and my personal life.

Did i just put my personal life last on that list?

Oh no.

01.17.07 (7:06 am)   [edit]

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try a bigger font size

would this be easier to read? i think so. off we go then.

today was a very interesting day. by tomorrow, this part of the course will be over. NO MORE THEORIES! about time for a change of pace, things were really getting into a very mundane routine here. and i'm so sick of groupwork and presentations.

it was rosemary's birthday today. and she got cheesecake :) she bought it of course. actually we've kinda grown attached to her. joyeux anniversaire rosemary! and susan got balloons, which have lovely colours. i grabbed a yellow one and drew a "no fish sign" and signed my name. there's a picture of it.

other than that, i'm kinda worried we're too laid back here. falling behind work and stuff. and over-thinking things too much.

i like this font size. easy to read.

oh, the girls staged a dance for rosemary. some...dunno what its called. but emily's a natural dancer. very beautiful girl too.

i'm kinda surprised some people dont like balloons. some are afraid of them because they might go *pop*, others because of the movie "the It", and the list goes on.

and i'm kinda surprised some people dont like chocolate too.

but thats ok.

i'll take the balloons and eat the chocs for them.

oh, so selfless :P

 

01.16.07 (10:34 pm)   [edit]

1 Comments

still on that control thing

it wasnt till i studied education in sociology that i understood why there were so many petty rules enforced in our schools here.

i mean,

  • the length of your nails
  • the length of your hair
  • what colour/type of scrunchie you can use to tie your long hair
  • the colour of your hair
  • length of sideburns
  • colour of your bra, unbelievably

 and what i found out, is that its about CONTROL.

the moment you enter school, you take on the role of a student. a passive one.
everything that makes you YOU (appearance-wise) you leave outside
if you resist, you are problematic.

what is it about this control thing?

oh, in other news, turns out SoF's Burger Boy is 20. i'd never have guessed. he looks wa-ay older.

01.16.07 (7:50 am)   [edit]

1 Comments

just a thought

these are just ideas that have been floating around in my head that have finally ripened and it is time to tell the world what i have thought.

i'll just let you know the context of which i am talking about: the school i'm in. i dont think i'm supposed to mention it (its MRSM langkawi, if you want to know) now that we've got that settled, let my brain spew forth its ideas.

so, in this school, everyone looks alike. when i say everyone, i mean the students. i mean, at a glance, you dont see or can pick out any individual. all you can see is a SEA of students in the same white top and beige/black pants or sarong. and their routine here is incredibly controlled and rigid. of course, this is a boarding school. but just hear me out for a sec:

  • classes during school hours are of course controlled, as expected, so we rule out that one.
  • what time dinner is - there's actually a bell for dinner. pardon me if i find this somewhat shocking, for i am accustomed to eating anytime. and when i can afford it.
  • what time they have to go study at night - they have allocated classes
  • what to wear when they go study at night
  • the boys and girls are separated at the dining hall - which, is also called the dewan selera (ds). is it just me or do all mrsm's have dses by default?
  • girls are not allowed to wear t-shirts and pants to the ds - it doesnt mean they go there naked, they just have to find..."appropriate clothing".
  • slippers are not allowed in the ds

well, i guess its just me but i cant stand the idea of controlling people in such a way. especially when they are not free to grow as individuals. i know most schools are like this too, but i just cant believe the amount of control exercised over the students here. curfew and what not are for their own good and safety, cant argue with that. but the other elements?

and how can we tell them apart?

you can start a little army with the students here

it is a very impressive looking place though. awesome architecture, BUT if you look closely enough, some tiles are coming loose..there are cracks in the pillars or the floor..you get my point. beautifully landscaped, plenty of sports facilities BUT (and is this also by default?) did mara get lousy contractors again who couldnt stick tiles properly to the floor? i mean the same thing happened in my college, which was actually the first mrsm built in this country. Yes, the evil started there.

maybe its just me..i dont know.

but i cant stand the idea of smothering the uniqueness that makes an individual. and the students are VERY VERY passive in class too, which i forgot was the situation in high school. BUT in my class, there were students who dared to shoot questions at the teacher. of course they'd be called a smart alec (yew teck, you know its you) but at least there was interaction. know what i mean?

maybe its far too early to make any hasty conclusions since i've only observed one class. we'll see how that goes.

by the way, i know what the mystery meat is. apparently its the lymph-bits of the chicken.

i dont know what to make out of that.

01.15.07 (11:18 pm)   [edit]

1 Comments

my love

damn that justin timberlake! its stuck in my head. why does he have to sing in that falsetto anyway? its a great video though, unfortunatly enough.

i read something about blogs being bought for a...very attractive amount of money. i doubt anyone would buy this one, and i dont want to sell it. kinda attached to it, in some strange way. cant pinpoint exactly why.

know the line in the poem Somewhere Along the Way by Pete Roche? and the line "...you/ Are only as far from me/As thoughts are from thinking". incredibly sweet line, i know. however i just cant help but wonder.

you can keep somebody as close to you as you can, and keep in touch as much as possible. but if you're physically far apart, separated by land and sea, there are times when it SUCKS that you're so far apart. i know it was going to be hard from the beginning but..well. enough said here. one day at a time. that doesnt make it any easier though.

i still cant get the mystery meat out of my head..it might be out of my system now, but what the hell did i eat?? it was rubbery, tough and wasnt fibrous like dark meat. STRANGE strange texture...better not think about it too much. i'm starting to feel nauseous.

01.14.07 (11:52 pm)   [edit]

1 Comments

ehee

i just did a class observation and i found it so interesting i just HAVE to blog about it. i mean, i've never looked at a classroom from that perspective before, and my, my how interesting. how FASCINATING.

does this mean i'm ready for new zealand? i dont know. but i do know that the next few weeks in perlis ought to be very insightful. here's to interesting, and unexpected findings.

oh no...what's happened to me??

OTHER THAN THAT...

me and aud have become the rubbish bins for the burger stall in campus. we keep going there just as they're about to close and the students have their curfew, and order something petty like chips. and then we get free drinks, and its mango juice. last night, we had another round of chips, on the house, cause they had to clear up. oh joy.

and i stole milk and muffin from the school co-op today cause nobody was there so i couldnt make my payment. nothing tastes as good as stolen milk.

i freeload, pardon me.

i freely accept and request food from my friends. if you tell me "ally, you can help yourself to my food you know. i have so much, i want to finish it" my response to that would be "where's your food?". i rarely decline offers of free food. especially if its something i like.

i freeload, pardon me. its a glorious way of life.

its not like i'm not thankful for it or anything.

i am

which is why i say

i freeload.

what a wonderful day.

the chi is so right today.

something's not right..why am i not complaining?

ah yes...SoF has a crush on the burger stall guy. surprise surprise.

and i still dont know what meat it was we had for dinner last night. it was chunky and tough and spicy. my guess is that its some organ from some animal but i dare not think too much about it. i just stopped eating when i realized "this isnt meat!"

mmm...other than that, life's pretty routine here. very blah-ly so.

but the night sky is beautiful here, as is everything else that this island has, ugh. its so clear and you can see the stars every night.

i dont have things to complain about. this is so strange.

when i do have something to complain about i'll be back.

angsty

and dont calm me down till i'm done!

i think the island got to me.

01.13.07 (9:32 pm)   [edit]

1 Comments

island life

island trip was fun..extremely exhausting but fun. i wouldnt mind the island life actually. maybe for 2 weeks or so? this is an undeniably beautiful place. so much so that it got to the point where i heard myself say "wow, that's so beautiful...whats new about that anyway?"

but truth be told, and this could just be a romantic notion, i really wont mind the island life. if i had to run away to anywhere, i dont mind langkawi. its a beautiful place, its laidback and things just seem so simple. the people have simple lives. maybe for a brief period in my life, just for a break. not for long. i'd get bored here. but as a destination for a retreat, yes. plus booze is cheap here. and chocs. beautiful beaches. so many monkeys. and buffalo.

yesterday i was actually thinking of joining the amazing race. i mean, why not?

maybe its this urge to want to see more and do more. the urge to want to find out and experience more.

go with friends or something, rent out an apartment. should be fun.

maybe one day.

i held a snake today. python.

and i think i saw a dead/sick shark too. great island, no?

i took some beautiful scenery pictures today. if only i could upload them.

we went to the underwater world, the quay, the waterfall, the beach. OH so TIRING! it was getting there, the walking uphill, downhill and uphill and downhill. i'm glad we got out though. this place can get a tad suffocating.

toodles

rhymes with noodles

great..i'm hungry now. at 0149 hrs.

ugh

01.12.07 (9:44 am)   [edit]

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office politics in the making

this is just an observation about my class. it started out with 26 of us. halfway  through, one dropped out. and then there were 25. after 2 years, 20 will go on to new zealand. but a lot of things have happened in the past 2 years. what more to say the next four?

you have cliques that were formed, reformed and then revamped. you have friends falling out with each other, there's the gossip that goes around, there's the person/s that spread the gossip.

maybe its us growing together, and there are times when you just happen to step on other people's toes.

but in a group of 25, and now 20, where there is only one male, who can be quite the bitch at times, things can get petty and catty. lets play a game, where you guess who they are, if you know their names :)

like once i was quite shocked that person A doesnt actually like person B although they appear to be very buddy-buddy.

or the other time when person C got all catty about the time i "fucked up his dinner thingy" when 6 months had passed since the incident. nobody else, even those on the commitee, made a big deal out of it. *shrug* for someone who thinks he's so open minded, he can be pretty much the opposite at times. and he should stop talking like he's black. just cause you're dark dont make you black yo! and yes, its a HE. no probs figuring out who this one is.

or the time when i found out why everyone seems to be avoiding person D. and still am shocked why. and somehow feel sorry for her. can only imagine how lonely it can get. i dont have anything against her but when other people start to avoid her and want to keep her out of group things because some people wont be okay with it, there's not much i can do about it.

i do admire person E very much for her enthusiasm and humility in learning, by stepping out of her comfort zone to try new things that may help her learn more, and having a really positive self image while maintaining her integrity and having such a strong personality. her effort is huge. if only i could be that motivated.

that i became friends with person F after so long. i missed her company and its a real shame it took so long (and the influence of certain..liquids) to tell her i'm sorry. and that i missed her. and yes, i am a dumbass.

and everybody else got weirded out about why i'm talking to person F after so long.

and the romance between person C and person G. which i believe, and i know i am in no position to judge, is a farce. but they just might work out. so..all the best to them there. at least they should make each other happy. although he wont admit to whether he fantasises about her or not. and i know for a fact he thinks there are other girls in class that are far hotter than she is. maybe he's got far more depth than i gave him credit for. *snort*

thats just the tip of the iceberg.

the others i seem to get along quite well with. they think i'm a bit weird at times, and i have a strange sense of humour. but they're fun too.

here's something evil..

what are chucklings?
what are ducklings?
they're baby ducks
so chucklings are...baby chucks.
what are baby chucks?
chuckster's babies.

if you know what i mean, then you know what i mean.

01.11.07 (11:07 am)   [edit]

0 Comments

MY PHONE!!

finally its the weekend. things here are different. weekend is on friday and saturday. so we work on sunday to thursday. quite tricky adjusting to this new timetable cause the week can feel so SO long.

anyways, a more serious issue, MY PHONE!!

i dont know whats wrong with it, but pictures and videos have gone missing and i dont know where to. the phone cant take any pictures (camera still works but the pictures dont get stored) i havent checked the sound files and i have no idea what went wrong! i dont know where i can get it serviced (or know if it is even servicable) here on this island. somebody tell me whats wrong with my phone! for all the difficult adjustments i had to make to get used to this phone, and putting so much effort into personalising it, i'm now kinda attached to it. i dont really want a new phone, but i have had this sneaking suspicion that i got ripped off with this phone. and if horoscopes are anything to go by, then i think i got ripped off indeed. my reading for this month oozes paranoia - if you think some things are a certain way, then they probably are. oh no...my phone. i like it now :(

i like my phone! i dont want a new one. i like this one.

01.10.07 (8:18 pm)   [edit]

0 Comments

interesting...

Somewhere on the Way
by: Pete Roche

I wanted to say a lot of things;
I wanted to say how often lately
Your bright image has wandered through
The dusty old antique shop of my mind;
I wanted to say how good it is
To wake up in the morning
Knowing that the day contains
Something that is you.

I wanted to say a lot of things;
I wanted to talk about
The changing colour of moments,
The silent, secret language
Of bodies making love,
I wanted to say that you
Are always only as far from me
As thoughts are from thinking.

I wanted to say
I love you
In fourteen foreign languages
But most of all (most
difficult of all) in English.
I wanted to say a lot of things,
But they all seem to have lost themselves
Somewhere on the way; and now I'm here
There's nothing I can say except
Hallo, and
Yes, I'd like some coffee, and
What shall we find to takl about
Before the night burns out?

Warning
by: Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'. tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We will have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

01.09.07 (9:42 pm)   [edit]

1 Comments

zombie mode

for the lack of anything to do, i show you how mundanely routine things have gotten around here.

MORNING:

  • awake
  • bathe
  • class (presentation)
  • break at 10
  • class continues
  • then its lunch.

LUNCH:

  • i blog.
  • check mail
  • eat something
  • watch tv
  • get ready for the afternoon

AFTERNOON:

  • READ things
  • discuss
  • done

EVENING:

  • DINNER - just eat and get it done with. its purely functional.
  • bathe
  • read some more
  • discuss some more
  • write some stuff
  • tired
  • drinky?
  • sleep

its the same thing day in day out. i'm so bored!

01.08.07 (9:03 pm)   [edit]

0 Comments

nunan

strange name, that. nunan. some guy with ideas about teaching. bleh. so sick of the subject already. i think i'm heading into zombie mode under the workload. its presentations everyday. for a new topic every day. bleh.

i have a point to today's blog. for once. and it is this: why do i feel like my life can be chronicled by songs that are stuck in my head? well, of course there are songs that people can relate to, and this is why people listen to them. but there are some songs that just accurately describe how i feel about events in my past or present.

eg:

  • Irreplaceable - Beyonce
    "i can have another you in a minute,
    ...dont you ever for a second get to thinkin'
    you're irreplaceable"
  • I miss you - Incubus
     - see yesterday's entry
  • Used to love you - John Legend
    "when i used to love you there was nothing that i wouldnt do
    ...anything you asked me to
    but i'm tired of living this life,
    its getting harder to justify
    i realise that i just dont love you, not like i used to"
  • Lie about us - Avant and that lead singer of PCD
    - a bit too personal to put down at this point in time
    - "wait just a little bit..."
  • Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
    - i just like the song.

its just bits of the song that i can really relate to. i dont know. do other people feel like this too? or am i an anomali? (how do you spell that?) or a victim of popular culture?

anyways, the political balance in the class is teetering, as usual. i just wanna stay as much out of it as possible. zombie mode comes in handy.

oh yes. i realise why i hyperventilated the last time i did. the thought of being just another one on another list. the fear of something great coming to an end will always be there, but the horror of being another one on another list, i dont think i can take just the mere thought of that. it makes me all there is to who i am, limits me to another's experience. practically another dash on a tally chart. and the phrase "i dont want to put you through what she's going through now" smacked that fear right in my face. my individuality erased and given way to a label that i'm "the other one" that *insert name of list here*. i've been through that once, and once is more than enough. necessary life lesson, but very painful. makes me want to burn someone but i have depth, and i choose to learn from this painful experience.

should i have waited? cant help but think that at times. in more than one situation.

what else?

we're going around this island this coming friday. looking forward to that. i need a break. and then we do the drinky. didnt get round to it last night. too tired, even though i took coffee earlier. (btw, why is hotel coffee usually so yummy?)

may the chi be good where you are.

01.08.07 (8:43 pm)   [edit]

0 Comments

i dont need a man

that song is just stuck in my head! along with beyonce's Irreplaceable.

i think i'm blogging just to kill time here. its lunch, and the presentation actually went well for my group, and apparently we did more than wasexpected. RE keeps mistaking me for audrie but thats such a common mistake that i've kinda gotten immune to it.

TIME!! i KILL YOU!!

life's settled into a routine here. this is where it gets BLAH. this is where me and my drinky friend start to have our own fun in the drinky room. i think that's the only interesting thing here so far.

i used to really like incubus. but the new stuff sounds kinda watered down..maybe its them growing as musicians. *roll eyes*

To see you when I wake up is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.

that was incubu' i miss you.

oh i am so sappy. somebody slap me.

speaking of which, there was a video of one of my stupors in which SoF was slapping me. cant figure out how i'll post it up cos i didnt bring my cable to upload things from my cam, but i'll give you a scenario:

*SLAP* followed by me going "do it again, do it again"
*SLAP* followed by me going "the other side damnit!"
and so on...talk about turning the other cheek :)

01.07.07 (8:22 pm)   [edit]

2 Comments

do you parlez-vous the english?

what am i doing with this course??

studying about motivation so far.

PAH!

i dont think i'm a very motivated learner.

schedule's pretty packed.

i like the drinky.

we do again tonight.

escapism, no?

presentation due after this.

oh how marvellous.

01.07.07 (6:14 pm)   [edit]

0 Comments

and so it is...

it has officially been a week here. and i indulge in what this island has to offer when i can. but how's the course so far?

well..

some of the reading can be very theoretical and very dry. i get the feeling i'll be cursing the subject and the writers of the subject matter soon enough. those who are familiar with my bizarre study habits know how this happens. here's the sequence:

  1. sit and read for about an hour
  2. try to wrap mind around concept
  3. after an hour, attention span expires
  4. throw down pen/highlighter/pencil
  5. curse what was read.
  6. and if subject is SO dry, we wet it with cocktails! (only applicable in langkawi..so far)

we have to keep a journal of what we learn and then write reviews on them which we will base our 1000 word essay on which is 25% of the course. then there's the portfolio which makes up the rest of the percentage.

i gots no laptop. guess everything will have to be handwritten. now this will be interesting wont it.

SoF and me are okay now. too bad it took a drunken stupor  for me to talk to her. and i said i was sorry about that. but i'm glad we is okay now.

hmm...funny how when some people try so hard to do or prove something they just kinda trip over themselves and fall *splat* in their face. i'm not naming names here (if you know what i mean then you know what i mean), but its just a general observation. and the aforementioned observation tends to happen when people try to prove their worth (?), again its just my opinion, or get into the whole hey-like-me-i'm-cool mode which is forehead--slappingly embarassing for others to watch because the people who try so hard dont know what an ass they're making of themselves. YES i do know i do this myself from time to time, but once again, let me reiterate, this is just my opinion.

other than that, life on this little isle seems very rosy, albeit my aching wallet. and my itch to indulge.

mm..its lunch now, and its a sunday, i just had classes. bleh..

i dub this blog my complaint box since thats mostly what i do here.

"there are times when you wake up and you just dont want to be where you are". someone told me that once, and there are times when its so true.

ever get the fear  that you're just a gap-filler?
sucks dont it, although that fear may not have a real reason.
that feeling that you're just another one on the list.
awful feeling isnt it.
thats when you need VALIDATION that you're special.

just another observation.

wow..i really am learning about observation arent i.  the apprenticeship of observation by Gebhart. what a DRY DRY topic, but unfortunately, it seems i've learnt something.

all you people watch out, i'm not so oblivious anymore.

topic shift: isnt it amazing how sweet friends can be?

i miss my friends back home. i'll see you all soon :)

damn i'm boring.

01.06.07 (9:05 pm)   [edit]

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its barely the first week here

i've been here a total of four days. there is already a countdown set up till i go home. its called a short term goal. but things seem to be going well today so far.

had the first lecture. should have no problems coping as long as i read ahead. problem is, i bought booze. for myself and my friend. i itch to drink and i need to scratch. its dirt cheap here! yesterday i saw a receipt on the counter at the liquor store. some rich bugger spent close to rm8000 on booze. and this is already duty free. so you can imagine how my eyes widened at the details of the receipt. i wanna be his friend...i'm shallow, i know. chocolate here's cheaper  too. i think i've figured out how to walk to town already. just might to that so i wont have to spend so much on cabs.

other than that, personal life seems to be going ok. there's just the minor insecurity that pops up once in a while that'll pass so long as i dont make such a fuss over it. maybe i should just keep busy. i do miss him very much tho. and its hard being apart. but the first week is usually the hardest, thats what i keep telling myself. get past this week and the rest will just fly by. still...

the money issue is a BIG DEAL living on this island cause we have to pay for every thing. and i mean every single thing. cos we're not getting any allowance from the sponsors (its MARA btw) they can go and die! go die! money's tight la. wallet suffering. i'm suffering. oh woe is me. bought new shoes yesterday tho. i needed a new pair anyways, the old ones were falling apart and these were cheap.

i go now.

langkawi's like a serian island with lots of tourists and cheap booze, chocolates and cigarettes;  dotted with 5 star hotels, budget motels and very charming (maybe its the island charm) double storey shophouses in town. its a nice place, very laid back, very touristy. i wont mind coming here with friends for a break.

and they sell gundams here too! there's no escaping those things!

the island looks good in pictures, as should all touristy places.

i go now.

01.03.07 (8:09 pm)   [edit]

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i'm in langkawi

this is my third day here and already yesterday things started to go awry. got told off about my clothes (it was a white collared shirt and corduroy pants) which were not "neat" enough. i dont have a bed, i live out of my bags for the next 5 weeks. i think the only good thing about this place is the fact that its duty free. there's booze on pratically every street corner! and so cheap! and the chocolates! AAAHH! unbelievably they sell gundams here too but the selection seems very limited. i only see the blue and white and red one.

other than that, this is a VERY touristy place.

still cant believe i'm here tho.

but its sinking in fast.

toodles.

01.03.07 (12:17 am)   [edit]

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