if you havent tried the combination of homemade yogurt thingy and the mars bars-caramel cheesecake, you are seriously missing out on a seriously good thing. and just so you know, its not yogurt on top of the cheesecake, but rather, its cheesecake into yogurt. see why its so sinful now? if the cheesecake were to make you weak at the knees, then this combo will knock you off your feet.

*yogurtcheesecake*yogurtc heesecake*yogurtcheesecak e*

i just got the strangest call just now. strange due to a few reasons:

1. the caller was the coordinator of the TESOL programme
2. she referred to me with my middle name. nobody calls me that! not even my parents! and they give the weirdest family/pet names.
3. she asked if i was sure this was what i wanted to do.

strange, to me, how the coordinator of the programme is more concerned with whether i really want to do this, when that should be my parents' concern too. and believe me, it is the greatest feeling of powerlessness when i saw my dad fill out the details on the contracts and forms and agreements and all i had to do was sign them. what i thought was the most unfair thing ever was that when i told them i wanted out, they kinda just abandoned me to handle everything on my own. but when it came to this damn bond, they eagerly did everything for me. might as well forged my signature too. its not much to forge in the first place, its just my name. nothing fancy bout it.

*self-absorbed*self-absor bed*self-absorbed*

one of my friends told me yesterday, and this shocked me completely, that she wanted to quit the programme because she didnt think she could meet up with our sponsor's (MARA) terms and conditions. i do admit, they are extremely high standards. but knowing how they work, these terms and conditions are subject to change at any given time without prior notice. eg: my batch. but if she does quit, i so wanna rip up my contract and burn it.

MOVING ON...

i just heard a radio ad from the ministry of health telling people to choose not to drink because "when you socialise without alcohol, you wont do things that would embarass you". how general! so some people can behave like total asses when they're a lil tipsy. it sure as hell dont mean that you shouldnt drink at all.

this is a very boring post. mostly cause i cant really think of what to say. this is just to kill time.

here's a question: how do you know what someone means when they say they love you? and in what context they love you in? and how do you know  you're getting the context right and that you're not deluding yourself? and if you're the one saying it, how do you know you're saying it in the same context as the person who's hearing it and will say it in return? and how do you know that you're not leading them on?

okay, maybe thats not A question, but a few questions in a row. if you can answer any or all of them, leave a comment.

oh, last night's barbecue was fun. kudos to the hostess :)

currently listening to that on the radio. "where are we running?" kravitz.

honestly i have yet to find a font i like for this blog. and honestly i hate the layout of my blog. it sucks. but i'm too lazy to fix it and its too trivial for me to bother about it. so if you're reading and you dont like how the blog looks, too bad. so do i. and i hate times new roman. lets use arial. but it looks too big. book antiqua..not bad. i like. lets stick to this. the chi feels right.

speaking of chi, do you actually believe it? i use it for my own convenience. when things are going well, and superbly well at that, then i say that the chi is right. but when things start going severely awry, or if something just "tak ngam", or if i dont like it but cant pinpoint why, then the chi is off. so conclusively, the term "chi" in my usage, is not based on its original meaning of balance of the elements but rather a quick and easy way of saying whether i like how things are going or not. hmmm...seems to me like i should never be allowed to have absolute power. like an empress or a dictator. because things will have to be to my liking. and the chi has to be right. if not..its off with your head! you being without your head might just fix the chi today. *evil laugh* i can just imagine the conspiracy theories to overthrow me.

so what say you about the chi?

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there are currently some problems regarding preparations for leaving for nz. the police whats-it for good conduct has mysteriously gone a-missing in the wonderful postal service our fantastic country provides. (AVOID POSLAJU AT ALL COSTS IF YOU VALUE YOUR POST) on top of that, (oh great, the songs on radio are on a fixed list..its kravitz again) my friend hasnt gotten her contracts and what not. just makes me wonder, how exactly do we do things in this country? are we basing it on someone's chi which clashes with everybody elses? because its not working well for me.

either that or god or the many gods think it best i not go to nz.

which i dont mind actually.

but whatever, lets not get into that again.

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stacie orrico's "stuck" now on radio. it was playing half an hour ago.

now here's another topic : BLOGGING PERSONALITY

why are some people so interesting and profound, or appear to be, by judgement of their blogs,  yet in real life are real quiet and kinda aloof? makes you wonder whats tick-tick-ticking in that head of theirs dont it.

why are there some people who are so vocabularily inept that they cannot express themselves in real life without sounding like they're getting tongue tied and verbally tripping over their own saliva, effectively spouting corny, saccharine sweet soap opera-worthy lines, who think they are, dare i say it, "da bomb" (roll eyes), who think they are, and this is without wanting to sound like i'm rubbing my own ego, blog worthy? cant even manage simple subject-verb agreement! and are retarded in terms of expression.

why are there some people who have a blog that has nothing on it? i mean, there's absolutely nothing on it.

and WHY are there some people who read blogs that cant be mature and open minded enough to bear in mind that these are primarily outlets of expression for individuals? (as un-glib as they may be, or how un-interesting they are in real life) why are there people considering setting laws for blogs? thats like setting rules for how to arrange the furniture in your house, or how to do up your car, or how to...you get the idea.

i mean, some of the most interesting people i know find blogging mundane or dont blog at all.

*shrug*

blink 182's "i miss you".

i think this is a long enough entry.

merry christmas everyone. happy new year and may the chi always be in your favour and good fortune roll you way.

see, i can be nice.

if we're told to dream, and dream BIG at that, and we hang on to that dream, and try to achieve it, despite the very real and sometimes inevitable possiblit y that this dream may vanish in a puff of logic one day, are we being idealistic? are we wrong to dream?

funny thing is, we ARE told to dream. to aim high. but then "reality sets in" - my dad said that and more often than not he needs to shut his yap and listen. and we have to "accept reality" - another direct quote from my dad who needs to learn to shut his yap and listen.

why is it that when we do aim high and want to take risks, people tell us to take the "safer" option?

what is that??

FIRST you tell us to aim high. even encourage us to do so. and THEN you tell us to accept reality.

pipe dreams vanishing in puffs of logic.
sounds like it, dont it?

maybe in the future, children should be told to:

1. dream big dreams, but within their range, whatever the hell that'd mean. that way, nobody gets disappointed, nobody gets hurt.
2. be mindless drones that reserve their mental capacity singly for academic purposes, instead of observing the world around them, and attempting to make a change. that way, nobody will step on anybody's toes.
3. submit, wholly and completely, to a higher authority that is placed there because of age, and age alone. questioning this authority will be met by a sharp "Dont TALK BACK" so as to train the young ones to merely swallow what is being fed to them.
   --> and you wonder why the "youths of today" are so content being spoon-fed.
   i'll tell you why. because in such a filial society as ours, it is easier to just keep your opinions to yourself, and pay lip service to the elders because talking back is seen as rebellious, arrogant, proud et cetera, even though you have a valid point to make. you keep your opinions to yourself and then bitch about how sucky life is when you're with you're friends.
   i'm jaded, can you tell?
   and in this filial society, how can we ever progress when we fear breaking tradition in order to embrace a possibly better way of doing things.

and dont get me started on religion. especially bringing children up in an environment where religion is strictly enforced,and they are encouraged by extrinsic rewards like stickers and candy to conform. in the end all you'll get is a bunch of 5 year olds who are "well-behaved", brainwashed with teachings they should be given a choice later in life whether to accept or reject, who are on a constant sugar rush, with rotten teeth who think that stickers and stars are the shit.

PAH!

and this is coming from someone who was brought up in such an environment.
but i dont have rotten teeth, thank the gods of dentistry, toothbrus h, toothpaste and the occasional floss.